Resentment
by Nissa Fox
Summary: After the war with Aizen Ichigo suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. His life only got better after he gained his powers back despite being troubled with nightmares. A new problem arises and now Ichigo has to see how long he can last against the ghost of his past. Rated M for swearing, violence, and sexual content. Grimmichi.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, I wanted to try something new. I decided to challenge myself and write something a bit more on the angstier side. I released the first chapter and I'll write more if you guys like it. Please enjoy.

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Chapter 1

It's been a two years since Ichigo's fight with Aizen. Within that time he's lost his powers and gained them back again. Those two years before he regained his powers were the most depressing years of his life, but now his life was back to its old chaotic ways.

He may roll his eyes whenever his combat pass screamed that there was a hollow in the area, but secretly he loved his job. He's had a reputation to keep. He wasn't allowed to show his true emotions; especially since he was more at peace then he has ever been in his life.

Killing hollows everyday may not have seemed peaceful to the normal person, but to Ichigo it was. In his eyes there were no more surprises. No more shinigami trying to executing his best friend, no more of his friends were being kidnapped, and the hollows around him didn't exhibit a real challenge in a long time so he wasn't beaten to an inch of his life anymore.

The most challenging part of his life was probably that he was preparing to leave high school and preparing for the university entrance exams. It shouldn't be too hard since his grades were pretty good; the only point where it dropped was his freshman year of high school when all the shinigami chaos started. He missed a lot of class and homework because he was always absent and even went missing for a while. His teacher never wrote him off as a delinquent though since he always stayed toward the top of the grade.

After he lost his powers he was able to throw himself back into his studies and make some money from temporarily joining other clubs and having a part time job that he barely even went to.

His life was back to the way it was supposed to be though and he wouldn't have wanted it any other way. He learned how to balance school and shinigami work. He had to quit his part time job in the process, but if he had to pick between his part time job and his old job he would be a substitute shinigami without looking back.

Rukia becoming the new lieutenant of the thirteenth division made her appear less and less in Karakura. She left to go back to Soul Society just that morning leaving Ichigo to look after his town by himself. He was used to it, and he refused to admit it made him feel lonely and it reminded him of when he lost his powers two years ago.

He will admit that it was a lot quieter without Rukia around. When he was left alone with his family it reminded him that his dad still never told him about his past, and since the hollow appearances have become less frequent many nights are just spent in his room studying or reading manga that he's already read a million times.

Even though his life was peaceful he still had one problem. Ever since the war he has had an incredibly hard time falling asleep. He kept waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat from nightmares of the battles that he had faced. It was crazy that even when he lost his powers and couldn't see anything spiritual he was still able to see everything clearly in his subconscious.

He refused to think of it as PTSD because he would still willingly pick up a blade and fight if he needed to, but what he experienced in Hueco Mundo definitely left a mark on his psyche. He remembered his arm being broken, losing more blood then he thought he even had, and of course nearly dying and coming back to life as a hollow. To this day he has no idea what the fuck happened there.

Not only that, but right after fighting the most intense battles of his life he lost all of his powers making him feel utterly defenseless. He couldn't even see the danger in front of him and his shinigami friends didn't even bother to visit him. Was it so hard to borrow a Gigai from Urahara and say hey to him?

There was also the fact that he learned that he was practically observed by Aizen his entire life. He knew that Aizen was imprisoned, but to know that a single man had so much influence over his life left him completely shook.

Rukia still preferred to sleep over in his closet whenever she came to visit since she didn't want to notify his family that she was over, even though they knew that Ichigo's dad and probably his sister, Karin could feel her presence. Ichigo knew that she worried about him, but he kept telling her that he was fine.

Usually she would beat him up for giving into his fear and letting it control his actions, but this time she backed down. She must have realized the effect that the war had on him and there was no way violence and harsh words were going to fix him this time. He still did his job so it didn't affect his everyday life too much.

He sat on his bed with his biology textbook resting heavily on his chest, open to the chapter that was going to be on the test that was meant for tomorrow. He was dozing off until his combat pass started to scream signaling that there was a hollow in the area nearby causing him to be startled awake.

Even though he was never really good at sensing spiritual pressure he was surprised that the combat pass was the thing that woke him up in the first place rather than the incredibly strong pressure that was present.

It was incredibly strong, much stronger than the one he took care of earlier that day. It was unusual for there to be more than one hollow attack in a day though. One already attacked when he was in school. He went out to kill it using the same excuse he always did, that he had to go to the bathroom. It wasn't even questioned at this point, unless it was and he just sprints out of the classroom before they could be asked.

This time though, it was around midnight and there was no doubt that the guy that took Rukia's place as the shinigami of Karakura was hiding. What was his name again? Imoyama? Whatever it was he proved to be unreliable a long time ago. Which meant it was his job to pick up the slack.

Ichigo placed his combat pass to his chest allowing his body to fall down lifeless in his bed. He tucked his body under the covers to make it look like he was sleeping. He tucked his body under the covers so many times, but to this day he still can't help but feel weird doing it. His dad and Karin would understand that the body was empty, but if Yuzu were to find it then there would be a problem and he didn't like to let Kon in his body so easily anymore.

He dimmed the lights in the room before he hopped out of his open window, silently wishing that Rukia was there with him so he doesn't have to fight alone. As much as he hated to admit it, he was getting rusty. He didn't have a real challenge since the fullbring incident, and even then he had some of his friends there to help when he needed it.

He was on his own this time though without any real back up. The source was way too strong for any of his school friends to help and he didn't want to put them through any danger especially after what happened last time with the fullbring. He needed to move fast so they wouldn't get any ideas.

He rushed forward leaping from rooftop to rooftop as he got closer to the source of spiritual pressure. The closer he got the larger the pressure seemed and his nerves started to eat at him. He made a quick observation and froze still on one of the rooftops of a flat building.

He didn't notice till now, but the source was coming closer to him by itself. Whatever the source is it was looking for him. The first thing that came to Ichigo's mind was that it was a very strong hollow that was targeting him as food. It's been a while since it last happened, but it wasn't unusual. The only problem was that the spiritual pressure definitely didn't belong to any old hollow.

Whatever it was he needed to hold his ground. It was probably going to chase him if he left since he had the strongest spiritual pressure in the area, and if wasn't going to kill it then who would?

He did not expect what happened next though. The source of the spiritual pressure picked up the pace and before he knew it they were now standing in front of each other.

"You're Grimmjow."

He was a few feet from Ichigo, but stood taller than him and didn't make any movement to reach for his sword or even put up a fight. He just stood their standing up straight and looking a little downwards towards the substitute shinigami that was shorter than him

"Yo Kurosaki, long time no see." A cocky smile broke out across his face. The way he talked seemed aggressive, but Ichigo sensed no hostility behind it. It eased his nerves a bit, but he didn't let his guard down, gripping onto Zangetsu's hilt.

He was not prepared to fight Grimmjow. He hasn't fought an Arrancar in years and there was no way it was going to be a fair fight. He flashed back a few years ago and remembered their brutal fight with him having to fight as a Visored.

It was a fight that gave him nightmares all the time. He got incredibly banged up and he even had to jump in front of Orihime a few times to protect her. He was incredibly fast and fought like a wild animal when he released his Resurrección. He won, but he almost lost his sense of self during the fight.

He was afraid that what Grimmjow said was true. That he truly enjoyed fighting and the reason why he stuck around wasn't because he wanted to save Inoue, but because he wanted to fight Grimmjow.

At the end of the fight Grimmjow refused to give up and wanted to continue fighting even though he was in no state to continue. Ichigo refused him and he said that he'd fight him as many times as he wanted if he truly despised him, but right now he really hoped that Grimmjow wasn't planning to cash that in.

Two years has been a long time and if Ichigo was rusting in that time Grimmjow could have been sharpening his blade.

Grimmjow's appearance hasn't changed in the two years he hasn't seen him. His outfit didn't show off the scar that Ichigo gave him when he used the Getsuga Tensho as much, but he could see a bit of the gash sticking out of the black V-neck that he wore. His shirt and white jacket also covered the large hole that he had in his abdomen that came with being a hollow.

There was silence. Grimmjow made no movement for his sword nor did he give off any hostility in general. In fact if he had to describe Grimmjow's personality at that moment, it was calm, uncharacteristically calm. Ichigo frowned seeing that he had no choice, but to break the silence.

"What do you want?"

Grimmjow's smile faded and shifted from one foot to the other in confusion of what to say. It's been two years since they saw each other and his appearance was completely random. His clear blue eyes stared sharply into Ichigo's deep brown ones that were glaring at him with directed intensity.

Just because Grimmjow was acting calm didn't mean that he felt the same way. His nerves were a little at ease since Grimmjow didn't seem to have any intention to attack, but inside he was freaking out. He refused to display that though. He couldn't let Grimmjow think he was weak.

Grimmjow clicked his tongue. "I rehearsed this in my head a million times, but I can't seem to get the words out, shit." There was silence again and Ichigo raised an eyebrow, not really knowing how to respond.

"I guess I should start with saying something like 'I don't despise you.'" He said.

Ichigo was shocked he was pissed off, but he was shocked. "Ummm, last time I checked I was pretty sure you wanted to rip my throat out." Ichigo said. "And I'm pretty sure you said that you hated me in like five different ways."

Grimmjow squeezed his eyes into little slits and frustration was written all over his forhead. "Fuck Kurosaki, don't make this any freaking harder for me." He growled in an animalistic fashion.

The sound sent shivers throughout his back, but he stood his ground. He was scared and he knew that, but he was damn pissed off too. This guy caused him a lot of problems and he hurt his friends. There was no way he could forgive any of the Espada.

"What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry for trying to kill you?" He barked. "We were in a fucking war and you were a good fight."

Ichigo was still very confused, but he treaded carefully to try and get more information out of him. "Why are you saying this? And why are you saying this now?"

Grimmjow crossed his arms and continued to look pointedly at Ichigo. Geez, he had a terrible attitude. "Maybe you forgot, but your fucking spiritual pressure disappeared out of nowhere."

Ichigo's expression morphed from anger to confused, "How do you know that I lost my spiritual pressure two years ago? Were you looking for me or something?"

If Grimmjow was searching for him for years then his lack of spiritual pressure should have made him give up, but here he was, two years after their fight and he stood before him.

"I was, and I did manage to find you after wandering around for hours. When I did find you I sensed nothing coming off of you and I literally stood right in front of you. You completely ignored me so I only assumed that you lost everything."

Ichigo's eyebrows knit together. He was still not satisfied. "What made you come back today though?"

Grimmjow finally looked back over to Ichigo and his eyes narrowed. "That doesn't matter."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Riiiight, if that's all you wanted to say then I'm going to go now." He said taking his hand off of Zangetsu, but not yet turning away from Grimmjow, not trusting to reveal his back to him.

"Wait, don't leave yet dammit." Grimmjow cursed. "We aren't done talking yet."

Ichigo froze where he stood when he heard Grimmjow's frustrated attitude towards him, but he kept his brave face so that he didn't alarm Grimmjow that he was nervous. If he found that out then he would be an easy kill.

"I came over here so that I can bring you back to Hueco Mundo with me." Grimmjow blurted out. He growled as soon as he realized what he just said and that it was too late for him to take it back.

Ichigo didn't seem to fully understand. He cursed and placed his hand back on Zangetsu's hilt.

"If you want to fight I can't right now. If I succeed in killing you this time there will be no way for me to get back and fighting you here will cause a lot of damage to the human world. My first priority is to protect my town and friends." He said sternly, eyes lowered and studying Grimmjow's movements even though he hasn't moved much and still acted aloof.

Grimmjow blinked a few times and quickly became impatient. "I literally just said that don't hate you! Killing you doesn't interest me anymore either even though you were a good fight! Why can't you get that through your fucking head?" He yelled.

Ichigo took his hand off Zangetsu just so he could clutch at his temples. All of this was giving Ichigo a migraine.

Ichigo was smart, but he couldn't put the pieces together. Why would Grimmjow come over and talk to him two years later and ask him to go to Hueco Mundo with him if he didn't want to fight him? For the life of him he couldn't put it together.

"What's the point of me going then?" Ichigo asked.

Grimmjow bit down on his lips and clenched his fists. "I can't tell you the exact details, but you may be in danger."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "You're joking right? That's nothing new. I'm always in danger so why should I follow you to a desert wasteland that is infested with hollows? It sounds a bit counterproductive."

Grimmjow restrained himself from face palming, trying to keep his movements limited. If he moves to much Ichigo may assume that he is attacking and things might get too complicated.

"This time is different, Kurosaki. Don't be difficult." Grimmjow growled.

Ichigo was about finished. "Listen, you said that you don't resent me and that you don't want to fight me anymore, but that doesn't change the fact that I still hate you."

Ichigo turned his back to Grimmjow and was ready to leave, no longer caring that his back was toward the violent hollow. "Don't try and follow me. I can't trust someone who tried to kill my friends so easily especially if they are a hollow."

Grimmjow frowned and dug his nails into the palms of his hands. "Don't write me off as some lowly fucking hollow. I may be a hollow, but I'll admit it. You have hollow blood too, don't try and reject it."

Ichigo called out after him. "I'm a shinigami and you damn well know it. Natural enemies like you said. You're not allowed to take back what you said now."

Grimmjow turned his back to Ichigo as well making a motion that opened a Garganta back to Hueco Mundo. "Fine, I'll give you a bit of time to think about it, but I'll be back. Be grateful that I'm choosing not to kidnap you."

Ichigo's neck became cold in sweat. He really could just kidnap him and it would be that easy. There was no way Ichigo would be able to fight back if he decided to. Grimmjow said that he wouldn't, but there was still a chance that he would.

"Whatever, go home." Ichigo said clicking his tongue making sure that Grimmjow was actually leaving before he took off himself.

"Alright, alright, I'll see you around, Ichigo." He said making note to call him by his first name. Ichigo's face darkened and flipped him off causing Grimmjow laugh as the Garganta closed behind him.

As soon as Grimmjow was out of sight Ichigo crouched down and hugged his arms. He could feel his entire body shaking. Grimmjow's spiritual pressure was more intimidating then he remembered. It was strong enough to pull someone with a small amount of spiritual pressure to the ground.

If Grimmjow really did see Ichigo over a year ago when he didn't have any powers then he must have suppressed his reiatsu to keep him from getting hurt. There was really no way to tell. He didn't even know if he was telling the truth.

Ichigo curled himself up even further. He really hoped that was the end of it, but he knew his luck better than anyone. Nothing really worked out for him and Grimmjow said that he would be back and there was no way the universe would let him off that easily. Things happen for reasons, but he really just hoped that those reasons wouldn't kick him in the ass.

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 **A/N: Please review and stuff so that I know if you guys like this sort of thing. I do have a bit of an idea of what I want from this story, but I won't write it unless at least a few of you guys like it. In the meantime please check out my other work, Strawberry Fangs.**


	2. Chapter 2

I discovered something about myself recently. I have low standards. I didn't get a lot of reviews for this story or my other story, Strawberry Fangs, so I guess I'll just continue making this story. I'm a bit depressed and it's probably not a good idea to post the next chapter so soon, but I need a bit of a pick me up so I can write easily again. Can you guys help me out?

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Chapter 2

Ichigo was barely able to sleep that night. His anxiety was off the charts. Most of the night he was downstairs in one of the clinic rooms having a panic attack so that the rest of his family couldn't hear him. His room was right next to his sisters and he knew that they would worry if they heard him.

Kon knew about his PTSD, but Ichigo still didn't like him seeing him in that state since he was supposed to be the figure of authority and he didn't need to see a stuffed lion get cocky over something like that. Kon didn't know what to say when Ichigo gets depressed or has an episode. So he usually just left him alone. He was an asshole, but he wasn't so much of an asshole to make fun of someone for their Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Kon could probably even relate considering he was a kaizo konpaku that was meant to be killed after project spearhead was canned.

Ichigo just couldn't get last night out of his head. He knew that Grimmjow was still alive since he saved him from Nnoitra. He never thought he would see the day that Grimmjow would come to him not as an enemy, but someone who wants to help him. Of course he didn't believe him. Two years ago he was even bold enough to say that he could fight him again anytime. Why did he say that? He didn't know what he was getting himself into at the time, but now that they were here now it made him sick to his stomach.

He couldn't trust him. Grimmjow never seemed the type to stoop to the level of lying or trying to trick him into doing what he wanted, but he refused to tell him what was going on. In Ichigo's eyes that called for suspicion. Even if he were to tell him the truth Ichigo couldn't see himself believing in him.

He kept thinking about it even after he met up with Mizuiro and Keigo on his walk to school. He ignored Keigo as they walked, but Ichigo could take a good guess about what he was talking about. It was probably something along the lines of him not studying the night before or something about girls and youth.

Mizuiro noticed that something was on Ichigo's mind and that he was a bit out of it, but decided not to ask him any questions. He already accepted that he would never fully understand all the problems Ichigo had to go through with his double life. All of Ichigo's friends that knew that he spent his freshman year of high school as a substitute shinigami knew that he got his powers back. He didn't see the point of keeping secrets from them anymore. They could all see him in shinigami form anyway so he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret for long anyway.

Ichigo found Orihime staring off into space. Her mind was completely somewhere else. That was nothing new. When she woke up though she seemed a tad worried for some reason. Whenever she was nervous she would always giggle half-heartedly which was a bit off putting.

She was probably nervous because there was supposed to be a test that day that was supposed to be super hard. Ichigo decided to ignore her, just giving her a reassuring look that everything was going to be fine. Despite her ditzy personality she was one of the smartest people in the grade and he was honestly too uncomfortable to bother with anyone besides himself at the moment. He just wanted the day to be over and it didn't even start yet.

As Ichigo and a few other classmates piled into the classroom the bell rang for class to start. A few seconds later their teacher came in holding a file full of papers which was probably the test that she was about to give out.

"Well class, I have some unexpected news. We have a new student." Ms. Ochi explained.

Ichigo lifted his head up that was resting on his wrist and faced forward instead of looking out the window when he heard the words 'new student.' From what he learned since he became a shinigami a supposed 'new student' would be significant later on.

The list of new students was long and they were all gone within the year starting with Rukia, then going to Renji, Ikaku, Yumichika, Rangiku, and Toshiro, and Shinji stood in his own category for not being a shinigami, but a Visored. Ichigo just got his life in order; he really hoped that this new student was boring and normal instead of tying into his double life.

There was a sudden burst of chatter in the class with his classmates wondering if the new student was the opposite sex from them and he could distinguish Keigo's loud voice from the crowd. He was unsurprisingly hoping for a new foreign girl to join the class since the class needed some new eye candy.

Ichigo understood as soon as he saw the new student that he was not lucky enough to have a peaceful life. All the girls in the class squealed as the male population in the class moaned as the new student walked into the class.

"The name is Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez." The familiar person standing in the front of the room said.

He stood up front wearing a school uniform with the first button undone and his hair was in its usual messy blue state. The mask that was usually attached to his face was missing, but the green marks under his eyes were still present making them look like tattoos. He looked like a delinquent, an attractive delinquent, but sill a delinquent.

Ichigo could almost feel all the sexual tension build up in the room as the majority of the girls in the class started to swoon over him and chatter about the new student in the class that they assumed to be foreign. They weren't wrong if they considered Hueco Mundo to be a foreign country.

His entire body just tensed as he gave a bullshit self-introduction and saying the bare minimum. Not bothering to make up a bullshit explanation on where he was from, or any hobbies, or why his hair was fucking blue.

Ichigo groaned internally. He didn't make a large show like he did for the others. Actually he didn't make that large of a show when the other six shinigami enrolled. Rukia was the one that made it bigger than it had to be. He just wanted to stay quiet so that Grimmjow would look over him even though he knew that that wasn't going to happen. It was obvious that he was there for him and it wasn't exactly possible for him to blend in with his beacon of a hair color.

This was weird though and it was completely different. Grimmjow was an Arrancar, a hollow. He had no ties to the soul society and he only had one mission, and that was to retrieve Ichigo. For what reason escaped him since the guy refused to tell him.

When Shinji enrolled he at least had the decency to tell Ichigo his reason. He transferred in as well and if Grimmjow was going to follow in his footsteps then that means he is serious and that he isn't going to give up so easily.

No matter how Ichigo thought about it he couldn't figure it out. How was Grimmjow able to enroll in the same high school as him without any knowledge of what school he attended in the first place? He probably didn't have a citizenship, or a birth certificate, or even a social security number.

How was he even able to be seen by everyone? He was obviously in a Gigai, but he never heard of an Arrancar being able to wear one. It made a little bit of logical sense since they were hollow/shinigami hybrids, but wasn't this a bit ridiculous? It even hid his mask and Ichigo wondered if it also hid the giant gaping hole in the middle of his abdomen. It made sense if it did, but the gigai must have been specially made for it to be able to do something like that.

Gigais also help suppress spiritual pressure, but it must have been incredibly sturdy if it was able to suppress the former Espada's. Ichigo wasn't even aware of him until he stepped into the room. He looked surprisingly normal, even with his blue hair and tattoos. If Ichigo didn't know him personally, he would have thought Grimmjow was a normal new student like he thought with Shinji.

"Alright, welcome Jaegerjaquez. You can sit in any empty seat." Their easy going teacher said. Ichigo was glad that he kept the same homeroom teacher that he had in his freshman year, but shouldn't she assign a seat to a new student, not let them choose, especially since there was an empty seat right next to him.

"Fuck." He breathed under his breath as he hid his face with his hand as the disguised hollow walked towards him.

What made things worse was that he sat towards the back, the perfect place to whisper to him and be somewhat unnoticed. The seat was practically designed for new students that knew how to throw a wrench into the life of the ones that they were assigned to sit next to.

As Ichigo predicted Grimmjow took advantage of the seat right next to him. He walked over so nonchalantly that it seemed that they didn't even know each other. He was fitting in way too well with normal society. It didn't make logical sense. Wasn't he supposed to be an Arrancar, an incredibly violent Arrancar?

Ichigo cast a glance at Orihime and Chad who shared the same class as him. They looked almost as tense as Ichigo and Orihime looked depressed like some suppressed memories started to surface. She looked more depressed then shaken so she was doing hell of a lot better than what Ichigo was feeling right now.

They must have noticed Ichigo's glances towards them because they all turned towards each other and mutually shared all their looks of confusion, tension, and in Ichigo's case desperation. Before they looked back forward and pretended to be normal students.

Grimmjow smirked when he saw Ichigo looking at his friends in a way that called for help. Ichigo noticed his smug look and glared at him for a second before looking forward refusing to make eye contact with him so he could follow in his friends' example.

"Found you." Grimmjow hummed keeping the sinister look on his face as he crouched into the seat that was next to the orange-haired substitute shinigami.

Ichigo rolled his eyes still refusing to look at him. The way he said that made him sound like he was some sort of stalker which honestly wasn't too far off the mark. Seriously, he was ticked off. Ichigo worked so hard to separate his school life from his shinigami life.

All the shinigami that enrolled in the high school with him disappeared almost as quickly as they came and that included Shinji who went back to Soul Society with them. They haven't returned since and that included Rukia. After all the problems that were caused by them they finally allowed him to have a somewhat normal school life.

Now there was a homicidal hollow sitting in the desk next to him with the other students completely unaware how dangerous he was. Though they probably thought he was some delinquent that dyed his hair blue but delinquents were common in this school… for some reason and Ichigo is mistaken as one of them all the time. Apparently he and Grimmjow were in the same boat in that department, not that he needed someone to relate to in that department since he seriously didn't care what others thought.

Grimmjow was starting to get impatient again as Ichigo continued to look forward instead of at him trying to pay at least a little attention to his teacher who stood in front of the class. "Can you pay attention to me since I came all the way out here?" He asked in a hushed voice.

Ichigo fulfilled his desire by glaring right at him. "What do you want? I thought I told you to go home." He grumbled lowly as to not draw attention to him.

"I'm pretty sure I told you I'm not going to give up so easily." Grimmjow said lowly reaching out to poke Ichigo.

Ichigo dodged his finger and glared ahead of him to go back to trying to ignore him, already regretting that he gave Grimmjow the time of day.

He was starting to get used to Grimmjow's presence, but he still didn't welcome it. His heart rate was starting to slow down and he was becoming less fidgety as Ichigo fought down fight or flight instincts. He needed to act normal. Grimmjow was just a normal transfer student. Grimmjow was just a normal transfer student. He kept repeating that in his head, but he just couldn't focus with the hollow staring at him.

"Alright I guess we should start the day by getting the test out of the way." Their teacher hummed as she passed the tests forward. "Jaegerjaquez you don't need to take it since you weren't here for the lessons. I'll give you some makeup work instead so just stay quiet."

Ichigo was only glad to see a test for one reason. If Grimmjow knew proper school etiquette then he definitely knew how to shut up during an exam. If he didn't know then he'll probably pick it up. If he was able to survive being around Aizen then he definitely had to learn how to pick up social ques. He needed some quiet time to think and not because of the test that sat on his desk in front of him.

Grimmjow understood the meaning of silence for the most part, but he was definitely not patient enough to cope with being ignored for that long. He never took his eyes off Ichigo, constantly calling for his attention and poking him with the eraser side of a pencil, getting satisfaction when Ichigo shot a glare at him and gritted his teeth.

His makeup work was pushed to the side of his desk and forgotten and he was harassing Ichigo enough for Ms. Ochi to notice. Part of her lip lifted in frustration and she threw a piece of chalk at the supposed new student.

His fighting instincts kicked in immediately and he dodged it by getting up to his feet and standing in an intimidating stance that Ichigo recognized as dangerous. He had a snarl on his face that jolted Ichigo's attention. "Sit down." Ichigo said in a quiet, but dangerous voice.

His hands became clammy when he recognized his stance. He didn't want to see Grimmjow angry nor did he need him to start up any trouble because it would be his job to clean it up and he doubted that he would be able to control him.

Grimmjow assessed that he wasn't in danger and resumed sitting glowering about how a stupid human dared to threaten him. He looked back at Ichigo and resumed messing with him. This time their teacher didn't even bother since Grimmjow didn't get the message the first time. She was too laid back.

Ichigo was fueled to finish the test quicker so he can talk his teacher into letting him out early. He couldn't calm down with Grimmjow being right there. He's left early so many times before that she didn't question it anymore. She was used to him needing to leave early since she had him since his freshman year. At this point she probably thought that he was sickly or a delinquent even though his grades said otherwise.

It was hard to concentrate on the piece of paper in front of him, but he was good at biology so it wasn't too hard of a test and he was confident that all the multiple choice questions that he has answered so far were correct.

He didn't have a lot of time before his combat pass started to buzz and holler. Catching his, his friends with spiritual pressures, and of course Grimmjow's attention.

"Fuck," Ichigo cursed, raising his hand. "I have a stomach ache, can I go home early?"

His teacher cocked her head to the side and looked at him quizzically. "School just started and you are leaving early?" Ochi sighed. "Alright, as long as you finish the test, I'll give you some makeup work later."

Ichigo scribbled in a few more answers before he grabbed his bag and walked to the front of the room to hand in the test. Grimmjow sat at his seat smirking as he listened to Ichigo jog down the hallway.

* * *

Ichigo dashed toward his house. He felt the spiritual pressure of the hollow in that general direction which was convenient for him since he could just leave his body under Urahara's care since his shop was on the way. He didn't want to worry about some random bystander finding his lifeless body just for him to have to repossess it when it's in the arms of a doctor trying to resuscitate him.

After leaving his body in Urahara's shop without the shop keeper even being there to give consent to the babysitting job that was thrown at him. He ran down the street where he felt the hollows presence.

The hollow wasn't hard to find since it was as tall as a telephone poll and it was standing in the middle of the street. Ichigo sometimes wondered why he wasn't able to fully see hollows until he was in high school. They were so large and obvious. Even his little sister who has less spiritual pressure than he does is able to see them at such a young age. Granted Karakura became hollow attack central during his years at high school and their numbers were only increasing.

Ichigo was excused to go home for the day so he was in no rush, but he did want to finish the job quickly before the hollow caused any real damage. He pulled his oversized Zanpakuto off his back and raised it above his shoulder. He was about to jump and slice through the hollow's masked face so he could finish with one hit, but before he could even move the hollow started to erode away.

As the hollow faded away a human figure stood where the hollow was before. Standing there smirking with his arms crossed over his chest was the guy he just ditched, Grimmjow. He faced towards Ichigo smirking, his Gigai was discarded and it was who knows where.

"You took too long to get here." Grimmjow said smugly as he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"I had it." Ichigo said holding his oversized sword in front of his chest as if her were ready to fight. It was meant to be a silent message that stated that he didn't want to deal with his shit, but it seemed that Grimmjow didn't realize it or just didn't care.

He walked till there was only one foot between the two of them. He looked at Ichigo, and his smug expression turned into a more pleasant looking smile which still looked vicious considering the guy who wore it. Ichigo didn't intend to fight Grimmjow, but hell he wanted him to go away. Grimmjow was way too close Ichigo for his liking.

Not only was one foot an uncomfortably close distance, but Ichigo's instinct was yelling that from the distance Grimmjow was standing he would be able to kill him easily. Even though he knew that Grimmjow had no interest on hurting him he could do without the nightmares that night. He was already losing too much sleep and he was still a human that needed it to function.

Grimmjow immediately understood when he saw Ichigo's body suddenly turn stiff. He hesitated and took a step back. It was a small step, but it was something.

"Can't we at least talk this out?" Grimmjow asked.

Ichigo sighed and put his oversized sword on his back when he deemed that Grimmjow was far enough from him even though at the distance they were standing he could still kill him since he knew just how fast Grimmjow was. "What are you doing here?" He asked impatiently.

"Looking for a bathroom," Grimmjow joked.

Ichigo rolled his eyes figuring that was the excuse he used to get out of class. He couldn't believe that actually worked when class didn't start too long ago and that it was the oldest excuse in the book. Seriously, where was he learning all of this stuff from?

"Let me rephrase that. What do you want?" He snarled, his eyes locking onto Grimmjow's light blue ones that remained unmoved.

"I already told you what I wanted last night." Grimmjow growled. "But you said you're not interested, so you seemed to need convincing."

Ichigo shook his head. "I'm not going. You're the last person I should go to Hueco Mundo with since it's the only place we could fight."

Grimmjow didn't look pleased with his answer. "I'm not fucking giving up, Kurosaki. You're coming with me one way or another and dragging you there would be a pain so just come along quietly already."

Grimmjow confidently took a step forward. Panic immediately took over Ichigo's body and he was about to Shunpo away, but before he could flash step Grimmjow noticed his movements and grabbed onto his wrist.

His heart skipped a beat as the flight instinct was shoved back triggering his fight instinct. He reached up and grabbed Zangetsu off his back and swung it at Grimmjow. Grimmjow didn't move as the blade planted itself in his shoulder and blood dripped down.

"Are you satisfied?" Grimmjow asked. His intense eyes stared right through Ichigo's amber ones discovering the fear that was behind his eyes. Fear that both Grimmjow and Ichigo hated so much. "Now stop being scared of every fucking thing I do."

Ichigo almost looked desperate as he tried to wrench his arm out of Grimmjow's grip. "Why won't you leave me alone?" Ichigo nearly cried out as he pushed his blade deeper into Grimmjow's shoulder. Grimmjow still didn't falter.

"Didn't I tell you that you were in danger?" Grimmjow said putting his other hand on Ichigo's sword and lifted it upwards and maneuvering so that he blade fell next to him instead of threatening to cut his arm off. He didn't need to deal with that again.

His white jacket he was wearing before was now destroyed with a giant gash and blood stains, but Grimmjow paid it no mind, but he kept a firm grip on Ichigo's wrist while the other held on to Zangetsu.

"How am I supposed to believe you if you don't tell me," Ichigo asked continuously trying to break free.

"I don't want you to be scared." Grimmjow growled. "You've been losing yourself to your fear Ichigo and I'm keeping it secret so that you don't fall any further."

Ichigo growled dropping Zangetsu freeing his hand so that he can throw a punch at Grimmjow's face. Grimmjow quickly moved his head over to the side so that it flew past him.

"Why do you even care?" Ichigo asked.

Grimmjow snarled in impatience and grabbed onto the back of Ichigo's head forcing it forward. Ichigo was going to scream out, but before a sound could leave his mouth it was quickly stifled by Grimmjow's lips. Ichigo's eyes bulged out of his head as he tried to pull away, but Grimmjow's hold prevented him from moving.

Ichigo gasped when he felt Grimmjow snicker and let his tongue into the shinigami's mouth making him turn bright red. Grimmjow's hot tongue held Ichigo's own and sucked hard coaxing a groan out of Ichigo's mouth which only made his blush spread.

Grimmjow growled in hunger and moved closer to Ichigo so that their chests were practically touching. He released Ichigo's lips and moved down to his neck, leaving him panting and confused. Ichigo's breath hitched as he latched on to it.

He needed to do something so he took his free hand and shoved it against his chest, attempting to push him off. Grimmjow didn't seem to care as his tongue started to leave long stripes down his neck making Ichigo shiver from the cold lines of saliva against his body that was heating up.

He then took the hand that was trying to push Grimmjow off and pushed it down hard against the open wound that he created on his shoulder making Grimmjow flinch.

The Arrancar woke up from whatever trance he was in and looked at Ichigo's confused and mortified expression. Grimmjow just shrugged, "couldn't help myself." He justified, finally letting go of Ichigo's wrist.

"What the actual fuck was that?" He panted. His entire face went from red to ghostly white as he tried to come to terms with what happened.

"I like you Ichigo. I have for some time even though I didn't want to admit it to you or myself." Grimmjow said. "I don't want you to be scared of me or what comes next. Fear doesn't suit you."

* * *

 **A/N: Bleh, sorry for being so angsty. I know it isn't really like me. I'm sort of in a rut so do me a favor and boost my confidence by leaving a review or all that other stuff. Sorry this story can't be as regular as my other one. Since I started that one first it is my first responsibility. Please be patient because I don't have as many chapters prepared for this one yet.**


	3. Chapter 3

Alright, if you read my other story, Strawberry Fangs then you should know that my charger has been broken for two weeks. So once again, it is probably not wise for me to post the next chapter so soon, but I'm just excited to have my computer back in commission. Looks like you guys are benefiting from my bad decisions. So you get to read chapter 3 a bit earlier then planned, and it's a long chapter to boot. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 3

Ichigo sped to the only place he could think of in the human world that could get him away from Grimmjow. He threw open the doors to Urahara's shop knowing full well that it was possible for Grimmjow to find him there since he could sense his spiritual pressure, but the shinigami hoped he wouldn't dare look for him after the stunt he just pulled and if he did then maybe Urahara can provide some backup if he needed to fight him off. He quickly let himself into the room in the back where he left his body earlier.

Waiting for him in the same room as his lifeless body was none other than Kisuke Urahara himself. "You don't really tell me when I'm going to have to watch over your body anymore." He complained sitting next to the said body cross-legged on the floor hiding his face with his fan. "It's seriously unnerving when I walk into this room to see your lifeless body even though I know you aren't dead."

"I had a rough day." Ichigo grumbled grabbing his body roughly, allowing himself to sink back into it.

"It's fine. I'm used to it since you left it with me so many times." He said. "So what's the problem Kurosaki? You're supposed to be in school right now, aren't you? So shouldn't you be hurrying back?"

Ichigo groaned and pinched his temple in-between his eyebrows. "That doesn't matter right now. What I need is something that keeps hollows away. Do you have anything for that?"

Urahara looked over his fan and examined Ichigo. "I have some repellent that works on lower hollows that I ordered special for your sister, Karin. I must warn you that it does not work on high level ones."

Ichigo sighed. He expected as much. If there was something that kept Arrancar level hollows away then the war with Aizen wouldn't have happened. Grimmjow couldn't exactly be viewed as an insect that he just needed to wear repellent to get rid of. "Then there is no point."

"So, you never told me what's up." Urahara said, moving the fan so that Ichigo could see at least the bottom half of his face.

Ichigo let himself drop to the floor so that he could sit down across from where Urahara was sitting. "I don't think it's anything you could help me out with." He said rubbing the back of his head trying to distract himself from how uncomfortable he knows this topic was going to make him.

"Boy troubles?" Urahara asked jokingly. His voice made it seem like a joke, but his eyes said something else. He knew something and Ichigo picked up on it.

There was silence as Ichigo tried to figure out the man in front of him, a task that was proven to be difficult. "You know what's going on don't you?" He finally said.

The shopkeeper cracked a smile when Ichigo figured it out. "Yeah, you could say that. You could also say that I was the one that supplied him with that Gigai." He didn't even need to say a name because Ichigo knew exactly what he was talking about.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Ichigo shouted leaning forward. All the other employees at his shop could probably hear him, but there were only a few of them and he didn't give a shit.

Urahara couldn't take it anymore. He burst out laughing holding his stomach and getting ready to block Ichigo's attacks that were inevitably going to come with his arms in front of him to block his face.

"Let me explain." Urahara said taking a deep breath to calm down. "Grimmjow and I have known each other for some time. I recognized that his intentions to talk to you were pure so I told him that I would develop a Gigai especially for him that can house Arrancars at his level."

Ichigo couldn't decide whether he wanted to attack him or listen to his story or both, so he just sat their silently in frustration. He could almost feel the fumes that were coming off of his face.

"After the war and when you lost your powers he's been visiting the world of the living. He's wanted to talk to you for two years. I found him during his first visit and explained your situation. He didn't want to believe me so he continued to look for you and confirmed your lack of spiritual pressure himself."

Ichigo growled at the story. None of it made sense. Everything was contradicting with everything that he thought was real. He kept flashing back to the fights that he had with Grimmjow that were life and death, but now Urahara was telling him that he was safe. There was no way he could just sit down and believe that.

"He came back and I told him that we were working on a way to get your powers back and I told him that I also had the technology to create a Gigai that would work for Arrancar." Urahara said. "He matured a lot within the past two years and I deemed him fit to wear it and I helped him enroll in your school and created some fake documents."

It was all Urahara. He was always planning stuff behind his back. What was the point of hiding stuff from him? Did he seriously think that all of this was funny or something? Urahara had an impressive track record of messing and teasing him so this had to be some form of joke to him.

"What is the point of all of this? Do you know what is going on? He wants to drag me to Hueco Mundo. That was the last place that we fought and the homeland of a bunch of really powerful hollows, it's too damn dangerous. I can't trust him."

Urahara lowered his gaze at Ichigo. "I understand that, but you are missing the big picture here. He can be a very powerful ally."

Ichigo was about to explode; his heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was going to break through his ribcage. He was scared and he was losing the trust in one of his allies, one of his allies that he trusted the most. He helped train him, supplied him a way to save Rukia and Orihime, protected him from Aizen, and at the very end he gave him his powers back. Now this guy was going to let a homicidal ex-Espada back into his life? It was to contradictory.

He was completely unsatisfied with the answer that Urahara gave him. "Ally for what? My life was finally peaceful! I had exactly everything I could want! I had my old job back without worrying about some war; I was able to see Rukia and Renji whenever I wanted, and a normal school life!"

Urahara didn't flinch at Ichigo's sudden outburst; instead he planted his elbows on his legs putting two hands under his chin.

"You don't have a partner." He hummed.

Ichigo growled at him, noticing the stupid look of satisfaction that came with that joke. It seriously pissed Ichigo off and he was about ready to attack him and normally he would, but his body was so tense that he couldn't even throw a punch.

"Are we seriously making jokes about that?" Ichigo nearly hissed. "As fucked up that part of this is, my real concern is him wanting me to go to Hueco Mundo with him. It's way too dangerous and it is way too tall of a request. For me to follow an enemy into enemy territory where my soul can be devoured? Give me a break!"

There was silence in the room and Ichigo studied Urahara's face that was hidden beneath his hat.

"You know what's going on, don't you?" Ichigo asked.

There was silence again confirming Ichigo's answer. Ichigo planted both of his hands on the tatami mats behind him and leaned back on them.

"You know, Urahara? As soon as I met you I learned that you are always planning something and hiding your true intentions. I'm guessing this is just another example of that. There is more to you helping Grimmjow than you're letting on. You know the reason why he wants to take me to Hueco Mundo and you aren't planning on telling me, aren't you?"

"That would be correct." Urahara said.

Ichigo sighed and stood up. There was no point of trying to pry it out of him. There was nothing he could say that would make him give up information if he was planning to keep it secret.

"I guess we are done talking about this then." He said facing towards the door to let himself out of the back room. "Thanks for looking after my body." He said as he exited.

When Urahara heard Ichigo slide the doors closed at the front of the shop he knew that he was gone. He turned to his employee and longtime friend who he knew was there listening in. "He sure grew up, hasn't he?" Urahara said getting up from where he was sitting and unlatching the tatami mat that hid a ladder that led to the secret training grounds that he built.

* * *

Ichigo was an expert on the art of keeping a cool face. Yes, he wanted to know what Urahara's true intentions were, but he knew better than to look into it. He would get nowhere and may even interfere with what he had planned…though maybe it would be in his best interest if his plans were to fail.

He didn't know if he was actually going to be on board with his plan, but it looked like it involved him again. Would it be so bad to mess up his plan since he didn't have his consent or if it involved doing things that he wasn't okay with? He didn't know if his plan involved something bigger than him though. It was most certainly not the first time something was planned without him knowing, but it was the first time he caught him in the act.

As he walked home he thought about how his friends were reacting right now about Grimmjow enrolling in their school. Orihime and Chad literally share a classroom with the guy and he knew that they were uncomfortable with him being there just like he was. He felt guilty for leaving them alone, but he wasn't sure if Grimmjow was going to even bother attending class when he wasn't there.

Knowing Uryu he probably found out about him even though they were in different classes this year. That guy made everything his business. He was probably already thinking about how to get rid of him without anyone noticing. Ichigo wasn't sure it would be safe for him to try and get rid of him though; he was the sixth Espada after all…at least he used to be.

He thought back to the exchange they had when Grimmjow tried talking to him again. He couldn't help, but think about the moment Grimmjow grabbed him and forced himself on him. Ichigo's heart nearly stopped just thinking about it. He was too dangerously close to him and he didn't know how to feel about Grimmjow's feelings. This could all just be one big joke to him.

He clutched onto the sleeves of his arms and looked downwards squeezing his eyes shut as he walked. He couldn't get Grimmjow out of his mind, his touch, his passion, his tongue, and his hunger. Ichigo just shook thinking about it. Even though his actions were completely different from when he was in battle just the intensity of him was able to bring him back to when they last exchanged blows.

He unlocked the door to the clinic and walked upstairs to his room not even bothering to call out that he was home to his dad. He closed his door to his room, walked over to his bed, and dropped down onto it, burying his face in his pillow. All he really did today was take a test, kill a hollow, and visit a shopkeeper, yet he was so tired. It was all because of that unplanned event with Grimmjow that he couldn't stop thinking about.

Grimmjow actually kissed him. It wasn't exactly a peck either. Grimmjow full on made out with him. Now that Ichigo thought back on it, it wasn't bad, but he immediately slapped himself for even thinking like that. He wasn't allowed to enjoy a kiss from someone he despised especially since it was able to make him almost break down and have a panic attack. If he wasn't in shinigami form then that might have actually happened.

He hurt his friends and tried to kill him multiple times and he still had nightmares about him and episodes remembering the things he did during the war. Ichigo was psychologically fucked up and Grimmjow didn't even properly apologize to him.

He didn't know what Grimmjow was hiding from him and what secrets he knew, but one thing remained the same as it did before he became a shinigami in the first place. He didn't believe what he couldn't see. He knew that Grimmjow ran on mostly instinct and desire to fight, so it didn't dictate whether he was a liar or not.

Grimmjow had some sort of code of honor though. He kept the scar that Ichigo gave him when they first met as a reminder and he made Orihime heal him because he didn't want to have an unfair fight with Ichigo. Because of his actions he was able to win, but he was never able to forget that if Grimmjow didn't make her heal him then it wouldn't have even been a battle; it would have been an execution.

It's been a really long time since anyone kissed him. For two years Ichigo was trying to get over his depression of losing his spiritual pressure He lost all of his shinigami friends and protection all at once. He wasn't able to see Rukia, and Renji, or anyone else in the Gotei 13 and Karin didn't talk to him about anything spiritual anymore because she was afraid that it was going to upset him.

If he didn't have any physical evidence that he was a shinigami like his combat pass and his toned body then he would have somehow convinced himself that it was a dream and that he was going insane. They were the things that kept him grounded.

He even lost his ability to see ghosts, something that he was able to do since he was a child. His family refused to talk about it thinking that it would help him get over his loss. Yuzu didn't fully understand, but she followed the rest of her family's lead.

He thought that throwing himself at work would make him feel better since it would keep him busy. He got a part time job at the Unagiya shop, tried to weasel money out of school clubs by temporarily joining them for compensation. They weren't distracting enough for him though.

He started to date girls so he can try to learn what it was like to live a normal life. Ichigo told himself that it was for the best and that he should be happy, but no matter who he dated, she didn't make him happy.

He asked for a normal life for as long as he remembered and when he finally got it he wasn't happy. He felt unsafe without his powers because he knew what was out there and he made too many enemies. They could have easily just swooped in and killed him at any time since he had no way of even telling that they were there. He told himself a million times that he was fine and that everything was going to be okay and that nothing was going to bother him now that he didn't have his powers. He could tell himself those things a million times, but his actions showed something different.

He never went to his part time job, the clubs he joined were always temporary, and every relationship he was in never worked out. He gained hope when he learned that he had potential to be a fullbring and it may trigger his powers to come back. He was able to see hollows again. He never thought he would be happy to see them, but he was. It showed that he was getting better and that there was a way he could defend himself.

He was then betrayed. His powers were stripped from him again and all the tears and anguish he's been holding back for two years came flooding out of him. He hadn't cried like that since he was a kid, but at that moment that was all he could do until he felt a sword impale him in the back that was held by Rukia and he gained his powers back.

He then quit his part time job; he stopped all the shenanigans with the temporary club joining, and lost what little desire he had to look for a love life. He was back to normal. It wasn't exactly the definition of normal, but it was his 'normal.'

He didn't need the extra Grimmjow drama. He already had drama from his clingy ex-girlfriends that he was trying to break away from. All he could ask for was for him to just be alone to live his life.

He wished that all of this was some sort of elaborate dream his subconscious made in an effort to fix his fucked up mind, but he knew that he wasn't lucky enough. The world liked messing with him too much for that.

He kept being visited by nightmares about the Espada. That included Grimmjow, and most of them weren't good. He remembered how he attacked Rukia, how he treated Orihime, and how he practically pledged to kill him.

Maybe his brain was trying to tell him that he was better off without all the spiritual antics, but even with his dreams it didn't stop him from doing what he loved so it didn't give the dreams any reason but to hurt him.

He almost lost his life multiple times before and at one point he literally did. It made sense that he would have post-traumatic stress, but they don't exactly sell pills for that over the counter. He would need a prescription for antidepressants, but for that he would need to see a psychiatrist and he couldn't exactly tell them that he fought in a war that saved the fate of the afterlife.

Even Urahara didn't have anything that helped with his PTSD. He just had to battle it alone. His friends and dad didn't ask him too much about it since they knew he wouldn't want to talk about it. They just watched from afar and hoped that Ichigo was okay.

He hugged the pillow that he was burying his face in. He had the rest of the day off and he has been getting headaches more recently after the war so he guessed that the best thing he could do at the moment was to just sleep. Just sleep and hope all his problems would be solved when he woke up.

He pulled himself off his bed just to change into proper sleepwear and to make sure his school clothes don't get gross. He's already ruined enough uniforms from hollow business so he needed to at least keep some intact as much as possible.

He lay back down in bed and clutched onto the covers as he rolled underneath them in an effort to get comfortable. He was too tired and he started to feel awkward in his own body. Maybe he was actually getting sick. He closed his eyes and pretended that all his problems weren't real so that he could just fall asleep without too much struggle.

* * *

Ichigo woke up to the sound of tapping on his window. He looked up to see Grimmjow standing in midair looking through the window in his spirit form. He was used to waking up annoyed after living with his dad for eighteen years, but being woken up by someone he hated was a brand new experience.

Ichigo debated whether he should open the window or just flat out leave the room. Knowing Grimmjow's temper, he didn't choose the latter option. If he did he would have to deal with a broken window again and his house already suffered enough damage from shinigami business. Seriously, his house kept getting destroyed by hollows and the repairs were starting to cost a fortune.

He slid the window open and sat up on his bed legs bent into the fetal position to protect his middle. He did it out of instinct rather than logic. His body was jumping into self-defense mode by itself even though he knew logically that Grimmjow meant no harm. He knew that, but his body was still stiff, bracing itself for anything that came at him.

"What do you want?" Ichigo growled.

"I come to see you and I get sass? I brought your homework." He said handing over the folder to Ichigo.

"I'm even more surprised by the fact that you went back to school then the fact you were able to convince my teacher that you'll bring me the homework." Ichigo said cautiously taking it from him. His eyes never left Grimmjow as he watched every move he made.

"That woman and the big guy tried to get it before me, but I seemed to convince your teacher to let me do it." Grimmjow smirked. "All I had to do was lie about trying to make new friends."

"Dammit, shouldn't she be concerned that a new student that I supposedly just met knows where I live?" He asked to himself in a grumble.

"I told her that I live close by so it wasn't that out of the way." He said. "I wasn't even lying, I'm crashing at Urahara's which isn't too far."

Ichigo rolled his eyes before locking them back onto Grimmjow, his body still tense. He figured that much out since the Soul Society would notice if a Garganta were to open every time he decided that it was time to go to school and return home.

"I don't care as long as you don't bother Inoue and Chad or any of my other friends. Just leave me alone." Ichigo said sliding the window closed. Before it was slid shut all the way Grimmjow lunged forward catching it before it closed. He slid it to the side despite Ichigo's best efforts to slam it into his face and climbed through the window.

"I'm not playing this fucking game with you anymore." Grimmjow grumbled, all slyness was gone from his voice and all that was left was pure seriousness, a color that Grimmjow doesn't seem to wear often. It sent chills down Ichigo's back as his psyche reminded him that he may be in immediate danger.

He scooted further back on his bed so that his back was against the bars that acted as a headboard in an effort to put as much distance between him and Grimmjow who was currently crouching on his bed.

He wasn't only afraid of Grimmjow attacking him, sure that was where his brain went to first when he thought about the hollow, but now he was afraid of Grimmjow doing what he did earlier. If he gave him any openings Grimmjow could easily force another kiss on him or even worse. Grimmjow always acted out of desire, whether it is power, an interesting fight, and now lust.

He had no other option besides the position he was in. He didn't think he had enough energy in his legs to stand. The sight of him in his house was on a completely different level. He still had to hold his ground though.

"This was never meant to be a game, Grimmjow." Ichigo scowled. "You were supposed to have gotten the hint the first time I said no."

Grimmjow loomed over the cornered shinigami looking impatient as always.

"I didn't exactly enjoy a sword in my shoulder, nor do I enjoy a window being slammed in my face." Grimmjow growled.

"I didn't exactly want a kiss forced on me either." Ichigo argued.

Grimmjow raised his eyebrows and studied Ichigo's stern expression. "Touché, but in my defense actions speak louder than words and if I confessed to you like you humans prefer you wouldn't have paid any attention to it." He said as he crawled closer to him noticing how Ichigo's body tensed up every movement he made, but still deciding to ignore it.

"By that logic you should have noticed that I wasn't interested when I attacked you." Ichigo said as he tried to distance himself further away from him, but he was already backed up as far as he could. Grimmjow was now on his knees and inches away from him looking at Ichigo's stern expression and observing the fear that was swimming below the surface.

The hollow gripped onto the human's knees preventing him from moving from that spot. "Thought you would understand by now that I'm not taking no for an answer. You're going to come with me back to Hueco Mundo." Grimmjow growled spreading Ichigo's legs out so he could lean even further into Ichigo's personal space.

Ichigo tried his best to keep a cool face, but with Grimmjow so close that he can feel his breath against his cheeks and he couldn't help but think about the kiss that was forced on him earlier that day. His ears started to turn red and he angled his head to the side to put some distance between their faces. His heart was beating faster as he started to lose his cool.

Grimmjow smirked at his old rival who grew more and more flustered. He released his hands from the boy's knees and moved one of them behind Ichigo's back pulling him away from the bars that acted as a headboard and closer to his body. His other hand grabbed hold of his wrist.

Ichigo had nowhere to hide and no way to defend himself. Grimmjow's anticipation was growing the more he felt Ichigo's body heat up in his arms. Ichigo looked like prey that could no longer run away from the hungry panther that stalked it. All Grimmjow had to do was taste his catch.

He brought Ichigo's wrist to his mouth then licked it. Ichigo shuttered and tried to pull away, but Grimmjow never released his iron grip. He moved on top of Ichigo who was completely stiff underneath him causing him to yelp. There was no way this was happening. Not again.

His mouth latched on to the boy's neck and sucked hard forcing a groan out of his mouth and causing him to turn bright red. Ichigo used his other hand to push Grimmjow away from him, but he was too strong. Ichigo in his human form was no match again Grimmjow in his spirit form. No matter how much he fought and resisted the one in control wasn't him.

Ichigo shoving Grimmjow was not a kind rejection. It was more desperate and violent. He never really thought about what it was like to be molested, but this definitely fell under that category.

Ichigo hated to admit it, but he was horrified. He was fighting a losing battle in his weaker form with no options, but to fight it or take it. Not to mention that he was doing his best to ignore the other's hardening member and hoping that the same thing isn't happening to his. There was no way he was going to take what Grimmjow was giving him.

Ichigo's resolve hardened. He shook violently from the cold as Grimmjow released his neck and licked upwards forming a long stripe from where he left a hickey to his ear and nibbled it softly.

Ichigo removed his hand from Grimmjow's chest and moved it to his forehead and pushed. Grimmjow tried to resist his efforts by biting down harder on Ichigo's ear causing him to gasp as he felt blood start to trickle down his neck.

Grimmjow immediately realized what he did and released his ear probably out of slight guilt, an emotion that didn't last long. Grimmjow licked the blood that was dripping down his ear and flowed down his neck. He showed no sign of giving up either.

He moved down to where he left his last hickey and licked the bruised skin apologetically then shifted higher on his neck closer to his jaw line and started sucking there as well making Ichigo's upper body become tense.

Ichigo felt the hickey forming and started to push on Grimmjow's shoulders and furiously tried to yank his other arm free from Grimmjow's gasp. Ichigo had fought Grimmjow two years ago, but the battle ground was never like this. Heck, Ichigo never imagined in any situation that his own body can be a battle ground.

Ichigo never had an attraction towards guys so he was pretty sure he was straight. He dated girls before even though he didn't exactly have an attraction for them either. He never thought about trying anything with a guy. Even if he were to hypothetically be gay he never would have imagined that he would be submissive during the more intimate moments, much less if they involved a hollow that he hated and didn't forgive. He wasn't exactly submitting though. There was no way he was going to let Grimmjow do what he wanted.

Grimmjow was frustrated. Ichigo was putting up a fierce fight even if he was in his human form. As Grimmjow licked up his jawline and started licking Ichigo's bottom lip he wondered how this battle would have turned out if he was in his shinigami form. There was no way he would have gotten as far as he is now if Ichigo was in his spirit form as well. Ichigo's lip curled into a snarl that warned Grimmjow to stay away.

He didn't have time to ponder what it would look like as Ichigo tried out his next attack. He placed his hand behind Grimmjow's head and grabbed hold of Grimmjow's hair. He yanked hard trying to pry him off of him and turned his head so that he could no longer reach his lips.

Ichigo finally found his voice and yelled "quit it." He pulled his knees back in front of him and rolled over to his side. His arm was still being held onto by the hollow towering above him disallowing him from curling up completely into a ball.

He no longer held anger in his voice, but mostly fear, sadness, and what stood out the most, hurt. There was no denying that Grimmjow lusted after him. Ichigo accepted that Grimmjow was serious, but he just wished that Grimmjow forcing himself on him wasn't the way he found out.

The Arrancar let his feet fall over the side of Ichigo's bed and sat normally releasing his grip on the boy's wrist in the process. Ichigo immediately pulled his freed arm into his curled up body and Grimmjow immediately cringed with guilt.

He looked back at the curled up human laying in the corner of the bed, and placed a heavy hand on the boy's side. The boy flinched when he felt the hand there, but after he realized that the touch was meant to be comforting his body still refused to relax.

"Dammit, why is acting human so hard?" Grimmjow sighed. "Sorry, I couldn't control myself."

Grimmjow was so used to the rules of Hueco Mundo which was simple compared to the human world. Pursue please and avoid pain, even if your pleasure causes an expense to another. Living in that world is selfish. It's kill or be killed and he understands why Ichigo wouldn't want to go there, but it is for his protection.

There was silence and Grimmjow occupied himself by rubbing soothing circles into Ichigo's side and then the boy lying down spoke up. "Why me," He muttered. "You could go after anyone, but you picked me. I seriously didn't ask for any of this."

Grimmjow pulled Ichigo closer trying to ignore the shinigami's weak struggles as he flipped him over so that his head was resting on his lap. Ichigo was tense still tense.

"It's because you're different." Grimmjow said running his hands through Ichigo's scruffy orange hair. "I don't fully understand it myself, but whenever I wanted to fight with someone two years ago it was you. I thought it was because I hated you or that you were a good fighter that kept things interesting, but I think the real reason was because I didn't have you."

"That is a shitty explanation." Ichigo huffed, not even bothering to struggle away from his touch, knowing that it wouldn't get him anywhere. He knew that in this form he stood no chance against Grimmjow so there was no point to fight over something stupid like him stroking his hair. "I'm not something that can be possessed and I'm not that easily convinced."

"Me wanting to be with you aside, there is an actual reason why I want to bring you to Hueco Mundo. I can't tell you though." He said. "It's for your own good. I swear."

"You didn't exactly act in my best interest a few minutes ago." Ichigo pointed out.

"I already apologized about that, dammit. You humans are so sensitive about sexual stuff." Grimmjow sighed.

"We have every right to be upset when we are touched in ways that we don't want to be touched. Our bodies are our own possessions so we have a right to them." Ichigo said. "You're a hollow so I doubt that you would understand."

Grimmjow shrugged. "You are probably right about that."

Ichigo lifted himself off of Grimmjow's lap. Surprisingly Grimmjow let him without complaining.

"Can you just get out of my house already?" Ichigo said pointing towards the window that Grimmjow left open. "This has gone on for far too long."

* * *

It didn't take long for Ichigo to curl in on himself once he couldn't feel Grimmjow's spiritual pressure anymore. He tried his best to keep his cool, but he completely failed and Grimmjow took complete advantage of him. If Grimmjow was seriously trying to get closer to him then he was failing epically. He wasn't exactly a fan of people forcing themselves on him. Most people aren't.

The thing that Ichigo hated the most at the moment was himself though. Yeah, he was molested by someone he considered his enemy, but he hated himself for not being strong enough to fight him off and he even lost his cool in front of him. What more, he acted in such an embarrassing manner. Hearing himself moan like that was going to haunt him forever.

He felt helpless like a girl in an abusive relationship, but in his case it was more like an abusive relationship with a psycho stalker who wouldn't leave him alone. If he didn't leave his house he was going to grab his combat pass and force him to leave by force. There was no way he could win a fight against him in the state he was in. If he could then he would have taught him a lesson for forcing himself on him in the first place, but now that he was alone all he had left to do was think about what had happened.

Grimmjow was as strong as ever and he was damn insistent too. He wished that he could just run away and hide, but that guy would still be able to find him no matter where he went. Maybe he could try running to Soul Society. He wouldn't follow him there, would he?

He scrunched his face into the pillow that he was lying on. He didn't have anyone that he could talk to. Rukia was gone for a while, Urahara was cheering for the wrong team, and his father was out of the question. That guy seriously didn't even have the talk with him yet…the talk about how he was a shinigami and his ties to Soul Society, not the other one.

He sighed knowing that even if he had the option to talk about his problems he probably wouldn't. He was never a big fan of talking about what he was going through even though he did value his friends and family. He valued them enough to not want to push his burdens on them Ichigo had to fight this battle by himself, an entirely new concept for him.

Whenever he went to battle he had his friends standing right behind him. When he made plans to do battle by himself they always found a way to worm their way into his plans. When he went to do Visored training they found him and then they eventually had to go to Hueco Mundo to find Orihime. Even during the fullbring incident his friends followed through in the end and were there the entire time for him. He thought he needed to fight alone that time too, but it didn't work out that way at the very end.

In this case, there was no way anyone was going to find out about Grimmjow. He didn't want anyone to find out about what he wanted and why he was there. Of course his friends know that something was going on since some of them were in the same freaking class as him, but he needed to find a way to get rid of him and fast.

Urahara was more than what he bargained for to begin with. He knew something and he wasn't planning to tell him what. He tried to not be bothered by it, but it was driving him crazy. He had the power to drag Uryu, Chad, and Orihime into this, but if he were to interfere with his school life things could get even more dangerous, more dangerous than it is with a blue-haired ex-Espada.

The only option Ichigo had at that point was to stop dwelling on it and focus on his homework. He was going to balance his double life properly, dammit. His life was peaceful and he needed to act like it if he was going to survive through this. Even with him telling himself that Grimmjow constantly wormed his way into his mind. Making his night longer and more stressful then it had to be.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the long chapter...unless you are into that. Remember to review and stuff. The more reviews, follows, and favorites I get the more motivated I am to work on these stories so I'm counting on you guys. See you later~**


	4. Chapter 4

Yeah, I know I don't update this story as much as I do Strawberry Fangs. Thank you for being patient and enjoy the chapter

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Chapter 4

"Ichigo, your friends are waiting for you." He heard Yuzu call from downstairs. Ichigo groaned and pulled himself out of bed. They were really early today. No wait they weren't, he slept in. Mizuiro and Keigo walking with him to school has been a regular thing since their freshman year, but they sort of did it on their own rather than consulting him about it.

They should have known better than to go over to his house though even if it was on the way to school. They must have known something was up when he ditched school for the entire day. He never took a day off to kill a lowly hollow. It must have looked like he ran away. He _did_ run away despite him refusing to admit it.

Ichigo sat up and pulled off his shirt, cursing when he saw what time it was. Why didn't he hear his alarm go off?

"Just a minute, guys. I'll be out in a sec." He shouted out the window as he buttoned up his white shirt that was part of his school summer uniform. He grabbed his bag when he was fully dressed and ran downstairs in an effort to keep his friends from waiting for too long. Yuzu handed him a piece of toast which he grabbed before running out the door shouting that he was leaving behind him.

He froze where he stood when he saw the familiar faces that were waiting for him. Seeing Mizuiro and Keigo was the normal routine, but he didn't expect to see a third person.

Grimmjow was standing waiting for Ichigo with them like it was the most normal thing in the world. Ichigo stepped on his own foot to see if he was sleep walking or something, but he felt the small pain and Grimmjow was still standing there like it was completely normal so he decided to voice his opinion instead.

"What are you doing here?" Ichigo asked finally coming to terms on why Grimmjow was there. He was trying everything to get as close to him as possible so of course he would target his friends.

Ichigo immediately felt the instinct to protect his friends and it overpowered his desire to run from his old enemy. Ichigo always thought it was his responsibility to protect them and seeing his job invade his school life didn't exactly leave him satisfied. These two especially were usually the ones that he wouldn't see in danger, but even if Keigo could be kind of annoying it was his job to protect them too.

"We came to pick you up." Keigo said. "Jaegerjaquez came along because we learned that you two were friends."

"I wouldn't call him that." Ichigo hinted. Was his friend really that clueless?

"What are you talking about, Ichigo? We are incredibly close." Grimmjow snickered. This guy needed to stop calling him by his first name. Just because his friends did doesn't mean he has to do it to blend in. Also Ichigo didn't know what he and Grimmjow were, he was incredibly confused about what was going on, but 'close' isn't the word he would use to describe them.

"So Grimmjow said you two met two years ago," Mizuiro said. "Would it be wrong to assume he was part of your 'other life?'?"

Ichigo tensed up. Grimmjow told them that? Is he an idiot? How much more on the nose could this be? Mizuiro was sharp so he can put stuff together and Keigo is…well he's not completely hopeless.

"You mean the spirit stuff?" Grimmjow asked. "Wow Ichigo, I had no idea your friends knew about that. I felt a little spiritual pressure coming off of them, but I thought you would keep that shit a secret. That's sort of sweet, but it's also kind of dangerous."

Ichigo groaned. "They figured that stuff out themselves." He said starting to walk, getting impatient with just standing in front of his house and so he could put a little distance between him and the Arrancar without being suspicious. He needed to act normal. He was tense as hell, but he hoped that it didn't show too much. Grimmjow could probably tell though and he could tell that he was freaking enjoying himself.

"Wait, so you're a shinigami? Like Kuchiki-san?" Keigo loudly butted in, failing to see Ichigo's growing aggravation.

"When did you guys get all chummy?" Ichigo growled trying to change the subject. He didn't want to tell his friends that the guy that they just became friends with was a hollow that fed off of other hollows and they tried to kill each other multiple times last year. Seriously, Grimmjow had a scar and it was freaking visible because he had the first button on his shirt undone.

"We hung out yesterday." Grimmjow smirked. "I wanted to meet your friends. You were supposedly sick so I went to the arcade with them instead."

Ichigo went stiff, but his legs continued to move forward. He was slowly losing ground in this battle. He came into his school life and infiltrated his friend group, he follows him home, and even Urahara was on his side. Him becoming friends with Mizuiro and Keigo meant that he now had hostages and he could threaten them if Ichigo continued to refuse going to Hueco Mundo with him.

Grimmjow noticed Ichigo's stiffness and couldn't help himself from getting a bit frustrated. If it had been two years ago he would have been amused and be glad that he was having such an impact on his life. He seriously loved torturing him and he really wanted to see him squirm. That part of his life was over now. Now he was getting impatient with Ichigo being so fearful towards him and thinking that he had motives that was a risk to his and his friends' lives.

He took Ichigo's arm, held it upward, and took a bite out of his breakfast that was completely forgotten about.

"What the hell?" Ichigo said pulling his arm away and freezing where he stood. How could he even allow Grimmjow to be so close? Is Grimmjow even able to eat human food? It made sense since shinigami can eat too, but he always thought that Grimmjow only devoured souls and other hollows.

He smirked before pulling his arm to make him start walking again. "Come on, we are going to be late."

Mizuiro seemed to catch something that Keigo didn't so he walked slower, allowing the Ichigo and Grimmjow to walk ahead of him. Keigo seemed to follow next to him so that he was facing their backs.

Grimmjow was totally flirting with him. Mizuiro was a complete playboy so he recognized their new friend's touchy-feely attitude towards their older friend, and he could tell that Ichigo was not into it. He was too stiff, but he was reacting to his flirting and he couldn't tell what that meant.

Ichigo was putting on a show. He had to be. Grimmjow was messing with him, but he was trying to act okay with it and was treating him a little like how he treated Keigo. It wasn't long until Keigo noticed the same thing as Mizuiro did. He turned to Mizuiro, wondering if they were looking at the same thing and Mizuiro just put a finger to his lips, symbolizing him to stay quiet so that they can see what happens next.

Ichigo didn't even realize that he was making Mizuiro and Keigo third wheel them. He was too preoccupied with Grimmjow trying to poke his cheek, or mess with his hair. He didn't know what Grimmjow was planning to do or how he learned all of these human things like how to flirt. He needed to stay calm though, act cool. He can't tip off his friends that they may be in danger even if he didn't know whether their lives were threatened he needed to act like this was the worst case scenario. That Grimmjow was planning on using them against him.

As they turned a corner on the sidewalk they ran into Ryo Kunieda. Ichigo immediately cursed under his breath. She was his ex, one of the people he tried to date to get his mind off the war or his loss of powers.

Kunieda was the one to ask Ichigo out despite how she always treated him like a delinquent. He decided to give it a try despite her cold personality and they managed to be together for a few months. The problem was that the break up was recent and she was still upset about the split that came out of left field. He broke things off with her around the time of the fullbring incident when he thought that he could get his powers back. He used her as a distraction and it was a pretty fucked up thing to do, but he really needed it and she seemed okay with their relationship. Now that they were broken up she was pretty upset with him.

Kunieda glared daggers at Ichigo. "Oh, it's you." She huffed, flipping her long pitch black hair so that it fell behind her head rather than in front of her face.

Grimmjow noticed the awkward expression that was evident on Ichigo's face as he grasped for things to say to try and steer the conversation so that it wouldn't be awkward. He wasn't doing a great job so Grimmjow decided to speak up instead. "What's wrong, Ichi?"

"It's nothing stay out of it." Ichigo hissed under his breath looking at the ground to try and hide his red face from Grimmjow and Kunieda who were both studying him.

"We used to date and he was a terrible boyfriend. He was always off in his own world, he was never around, and then he broke up with me out of nowhere. He probably feels guilty about seeing me and finally understands what he is missing." She interrupted.

"I didn't ask you, bitch. The question was for Ichigo. I don't give a rat's ass about what you think." He said pulling Ichigo closer to him by the waist causing the substitute shinigami to look up from the ground and glare at him.

"Stay out of it." Ichigo warned again, a bit more insistent. Even though he said that Grimmjow already brought attention to himself so he couldn't back down yet.

"You're the transfer student, right. It's fitting how a delinquent like you decided to stick with him. I thought he was different for a while, but he really was just a punk. It seems like you are one too judging by the way you talk, dress, and dye your hair." She said in a cold voice. Her words had some bite, but they meant nothing to Grimmjow. He doesn't give a shit about how one lowly human views him and none her assumptions were true so she must be dumb and clueless.

Keigo on the other hand couldn't sit back and listen to her insult Ichigo or his new friend so he decided to speak up too despite how intimidating she was. "Now hold on a-," he was cut off. Why was it so easy for Grimmjow to join the conversation, but he was being forced to sit in the backseat?

"Transfer student, what is Ichigo to you?" She asked ignoring Keigo's efforts to get involved.

Grimmjow smirked and said nothing pulling Ichigo's chin up so they were looking at each other. He was way too close. People don't usually act like this and he doubted that hollows acted like that either. He was completely uncomfortable and he hoped that it wouldn't escalate any further than this.

"Is she bothering you, Ichi?" He said in a breathy voice so that it was barely audible for anyone but him.

"Leave it alone." Ichigo growled. "Don't do anything stupid."

Too late, Grimmjow took advantage of Ichigo's open mouth to push his tongue into it, stunning Ichigo and the others around him. The hairs on the back of Ichigo's neck stood up, his entire body went cold, and his hands became drenched in sweat.

Kunieda gasped. Mizuiro and Keigo were surprised to see Grimmjow grab a hold of their friend and just go for it. After the feeling settled a smirk of amusement took over Mizuiro's face. This was starting to get interesting. He never thought he would see Ichigo get dominated and it was somewhat refreshing despite the fact that Ichigo was totally being forced upon.

They always saw Ichigo as strong and able to fight his own battle, but that was before they saw someone taller and stronger shove his tongue in his throat. It seemed that Ichigo had his hands full with something new again. Hopefully it would prevent him from being so gloomy again.

Ichigo's face scrunched up in anger, fear, and frustration, but Grimmjow still wanted to put on a show so that this bitch won't come crawling back to bother him. His hands trailed down from his waist and grabbed a hold of his butt and pulled him closer, fuck his body was amazing. Did it seriously take him this long to realize it? Granted he couldn't see his figure as well when he was in his shinigami form, but now that he was in his arms he couldn't get enough. If he didn't know better and couldn't control his urges then he would take him down right there and go as far as he wanted with him Shit, he seriously didn't want to let him go.

Kunieda had enough so she ran off, running ahead of them in alarming speed with obvious discomfort and sorrow on her face. She must have been some sort of track runner because she was incredibly far from them even though she left just moments ago.

Ichigo seemed to have enough too. His originally stiff body finally became relaxed just enough for him to shove the hollow off and pry his hands off his butt. Grimmjow seemed reluctant to let go, but he was a lot easier to manage against this time, probably because Ichigo's friends were there.

He took a few step backs from where he was standing before and where Grimmjow now currently stood. His face and eyes were visibly red, his lips were just a bit swollen. He looked like he was about to cry, but there was no way he would ever let his friends or Grimmjow see him like that so anger took place instead of sadness. He was so embarrassed, his hands really were too full and now there was no way he was going to have a normal school life despite his efforts. This guy really was ruining everything.

He was breathing heavily as if he was trying to prevent himself from hyperventilating and he glared at the hollow that stood a few feet away from him. His friends didn't dare say a word when they saw the look that can kill that was evident in his eyes.

"What the hell?" Ichigo asked in a low voice that sent chills up his friends' spines, but Grimmjow seemed unmoved.

"She was bothering you so I made sure she wouldn't go poking around you again. You humans are so fucking dramatic." Grimmjow said.

Ichigo's heart rate became steadier and he clenched his fists together, but he didn't dare throw a punch. It was obvious that he was upset, but he didn't exactly want to give Grimmjow a reason to go on a rampage. It wasn't smart to poke a wild jaguar the same way it wasn't smart to punch Grimmjow when he was calm.

"I can take care of myself." Ichigo said, causing Grimmjow to click his tongue.

"I doubt that. You were completely lost on what to do. Did you date someone that was scarier than me or something?" He asked. "If that's the case you should have no problem with me, right? Can we just go to Hueco Mundo and skip this entire charade?

Ichigo grabbed a hold of his hair in a fist unconsciously as he tried to calm himself down. "Can we not talk about this now? I don't need you giving away any more information to my friends." He hissed in a low voice so that only Grimmjow could hear despite being a few feet away.

He was pretty sure that his friends didn't know anything about Hueco Mundo, but if Grimmjow wanted to talk freely in front of them then it would threaten them learning more than they needed to know. They already knew about shinigami, hollows, and the Soul Society; they didn't need any more information. The idea that Grimmjow came from a hollow wasteland and he became an Arrancar because Aizen, the guy that nearly killed then, made him one was not exactly information that was necessary for them at the moment. He was already walking on thin ice and it was threatening to break underneath him. He didn't need more weight to be put on.

There was silence for a second before Keigo broke it making a revelation that was way too late. "So that's where those hickeys came from." Mizuiro punched him in the side to make him shut up, but the damage was already done.

Ichigo immediately cringed and slapped his hand over his neck where he assumed they were. He had no idea that what Grimmjow did to him the day before left marks. His school uniform didn't hide his neck so well either so everyone was going to see them.

Shit, the reason why Kunieda was so upset was probably because she saw them. Damn, he's really going to need to explain a lot of shit to her. She didn't know that he used to be a shinigami so there was no way she would believe him if he told her that an Arrancar visited him last night to give him his homework and then molested him. Heck he could hardly believe that himself.

There was no way she would keep what she saw to herself. She had a lot of friends and those friends loved nothing more than to gossip. The entire school is going to think that he and Grimmjow are an item and there was no way he was going to fly with that.

It was well noted that Ichigo was amazing at hiding his feelings, but even Ichigo has chinks in his armor. He tends to smile too much when he was upset and hiding something and him trying to steady his breathing and bring down his temperature was meant to hide that he was angry and embarrassed. It was too obvious that he was upset. His armor was taking heavy damage if it was becoming too hard for him to hide his emotions.

He took years to build his image as a guy that took no bullshit and was able to keep his cool. Now it was all his hard work was going to vanish.

"Why do you need to keep interfering in my life?" Ichigo asked under his breath once again so that Mizuiro and Keigo were unable to hear. Grimmjow should be able to hear since he had more sensitive ears then any human that is if Urahara let him keep his hearing when he made him that Gigai. "There is nothing that I can give you. I know you realized this already; that I can't fight like I used to. I don't want to date someone who hurt me or my friends the way you did, and I seriously want to be left alone. Let me live peacefully and go home already."

Ichigo started to walk again. They were seriously going to be late for school at the pace they were going. His friends followed his lead, but it took Grimmjow a bit longer to move.

For a second his resolve was shaken. He wanted to be with Ichigo and have him for himself, but if Ichigo was going to be miserable then there is no point. He can take Ichigo to Hueco Mundo by force, but the reason why he was doing this entire school thing was because he didn't want Ichigo to be scared of him.

Not going to Hueco Mundo wasn't an option. It was too dangerous in Karakura and the town would take a heavy beating if they stayed there. It'll be easier to protect him if he hid him in Las Noches, which has been abandoned except for a few lowly hollows that had the balls to stay there and make it their new shelter.

If Ichigo stays in this state for too long he may become a danger to himself. He didn't have time to focus on that though. He needed to convince Ichigo to follow him by pushing the envelope, but not bursting it. For that to happen he may need to just keep doing what he was doing. If he tried any other way it may put Ichigo on edge from his change of attitude and that can put him in even more danger.

Why did he have to fall for such a difficult person? Grimmjow grumbled to himself. Oh yeah, because there was no one like him. Grimmjow's resolve hardened and he followed Ichigo's friends.

Keigo looked over his shoulder and smiled seeing Grimmjow's stern expression. "You picked a tough one to crack. Good luck, buddy." He said giving Grimmjow a corny thumbs up.

Grimmjow was surprised to hear him say that and Keigo slowed down a bit to match Grimmjow's pace. "Ichigo's been mega depressed for the last two years. He's been doing better since he got his powers back, but I'm pretty sure the war had a heavy burden on him. I don't know too much, but you were his friend right? You've seen the war? Maybe you can do something to raise his spirits."

Grimmjow hesitated. "Umm, something like that. I was in the war and I have seen plenty of it, but only a fraction of what Ichigo saw. I was taken out before the bigger battles, but it was because of Ichigo that I'm still alive. He gave me the will to live so I'm going to try my best to protect him this time since he is always the one doing the protecting."

Keigo's smile stretched across his face. Geez, this guy's approval was _way_ easier to get then Ichigo's. Granted this guy thought that he was a shinigami and didn't exactly consider that he was actually the complete opposite, a hollow. Hollow's only drive behind them being desire, the desire to feed, fuck, and destroy. Being an Arrancar was probably the thing that gave him more human emotions though.

If shinigami were capable of feeling human emotions then it would make sense for Arrancar to feel them too. Sure most of the Espada had something wrong in the head and he can be considered one of them, but he definitely felt something stronger than the desire to kill Ichigo.

The emotions were new to him since he was one of the newer Espada that Aizen recruited when he found him as a Vasto Lorde. He turned him into an Arrancar and he didn't fully understand the new emotions he received as a side effect. At first he hated them since it caused him so much confusion, but when he came to terms with them he learned that he had to live with them. They weren't that bad once he got used to them and they eventually became easier to understand.

The hole in a hollows chest, or in Grimmjow's case his abdomen, was meant to represent that a hollow is missing his heart. He had no idea where humans got the idea that the heart processes the emotion, it was in the brain. His blood was able to flow despite him not having a heart…somehow. He never understood the science.

Being in a Gigai was a surreal experience. The body didn't have a hole in his middle and there wasn't a mask attached to his face. Even more alarming was the fact that it was built with artificial organs that he didn't have before. He could feel his lungs fill with clean air, his heartbeat, and he was able to eat human food and it was processed to energy. He didn't need to feed on other hollows to gain nutrition and fill the emptiness that was built into every hollow.

It was incredibly useful and if the human world wasn't so damn boring he could see himself living there. If the Soul Society found him he would be in major trouble and he couldn't exactly hide at Urahara's forever. Maybe he could stay at Ichigo's when all of this was over.

One organ that he wasn't used to yet was his heart. He was able to ignore it mostly, but whenever he did something to Ichigo or whenever he saw that Ichigo was uncomfortable with him around it would act strangely and he didn't know how to stop it. Maybe that's why human's think emotions come from there.

Ichigo looked over his shoulder to look at Grimmjow and Keigo to see how close they were following. Grimmjow recognized the action so he picked up the pace so that he could walk next to him, but Ichigo quickly created a larger distance between the two of them out of instinct.

"Why do you have to act so anxious around me?" He hissed, taking another step closer to Ichigo, but Ichigo took another side step.

Why did he have to do this in front of his friends? They were suspicious enough. They already found out that Grimmjow may have liked him potentially more than a friend even though Ichigo still didn't fully buy it. He was totally just making fun of him.

"Shut up." They were already at the school and Ichigo saw Kunieda by the school gate surrounded by a gaggle of girls and all of them looked in his direction to glare at him before they turned back and continued their conversation. Great, rumors already started to spread. Grimmjow just got there and it seemed that he already earned himself a reputation of the delinquent transfer student that was badass enough for Ichigo to date him and allow himself to be the bitch of the relationship.

Ichigo immediately turned away, a blush starting to become evident on his face as he started to strategize ways to rebuild his reputation. He couldn't find any, but there had to be a way somehow.

Grimmjow on the other hand shot a glare at them causing some of them to tense up. He didn't need anything to bother Ichigo even if he didn't really mind the rumor of him and Ichigo dating that was with no doubt going to start up soon. The way humans processed information was truly amusing.

He looked back at Ichigo, but he was already gone. It looked like he didn't want to be seen with him by those girls. They didn't need to draw anymore conclusions from them being together. Even though Grimmjow knew the thought process on why Ichigo just suddenly left it still irked him that he was running from him. He was seriously getting tired of this game of cat and mouse.

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 **A/N: Review and stuff. I like hearing from you guys and just seeing favorite and follows is enough for me to get fired up.**


	5. Chapter 5

I miss posting regularly. If you read Strawberry Fangs too then I'll tell you that my puppies are doing great, but they don't exactly leave me a lot of time to write so I'm falling a bit behind. Posting a new chapter of Resentment is a bad idea, but I haven't exactly been making good ideas lately.

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Chapter 5

Ichigo sat in his desk waiting for the bell to ring. Grimmjow wasn't in his seat yet. He was who-knows-where, but Ichigo was glad to have at least a bit of silence before class started. If he were sitting next to him he would have totally been giving him the silent treatment or something. He didn't need to be associated with him any more then he already was and his only option was to try and lay low. Whether Grimmjow would allow him to remained to be seen though.

"Can we talk to you for a second, Kurosaki-kun?" Orihime asked snapping Ichigo's out of his thoughts and directing his attention on her. Chad and Orihime was standing in front of his desk attempting to get Ichigo's attention. Orihime looked nervous with her arms hugging her body as if she were shielding herself and her eyes looked bloodshot like she wasn't able to sleep the night before. Chad wore the same blank face that he usually wore, but Ichigo could tell that he was a bit tense. He knew what this was going to be about and he couldn't blame them for being upset. He felt the same way

"Yeah" Ichigo said getting up from his desk. They couldn't talk about that there. Too many ears and he didn't need to tip anyone off about his double life even though there was a portion of people in that very room that knew about it already.

They walked out of the classroom and stood in the hallway, Uryu was already waiting for them. Ichigo leaned against the wall and was on standby for him to blow up in his face. It wouldn't be the first time Uryu blew up at him, but he seriously wasn't in the mood this time.

"What is that Arrancar doing here?" Ishida whispered in a loud tone.

"There really is no point to whispering if you are going to do it loudly." Ichigo said nonchalantly.

"Answer the question, dammit." Ishida huffed angrily fixing his glasses that threatened to fall off his nose. He was getting a bit too hyped up, but he had every reason to be upset about seeing an Arrancar in the school as the rest of them.

"He came over two days ago and apologized to me about what he put me through." Ichigo said scratching his head. "There is a bit more to that story, but he ended up going to our school."

"How? I usually know when there is a new student entering the school." Uryu hissed. Uryu wasn't part of the student council or anything, but he still always dipped his toes into matters of the school to see if there were any irregularities. Weird things happen when there are transfer students. It was practically a tradition.

"Urahara helped him out." Ichigo said flatly.

"Urahara? You're not telling us something." Ishida observed. "Why is he really here?"

Ichigo flinched and started sweating. He turned his attention away, but Uryu immediately picked up on it. "Tell us." He insisted further. "We can't help if we don't know all the details. Aren't we supposed to be your friends?"

"I don't need your help; I can take care of this on my own." Ichigo said. "I don't want you guys getting hurt."

Chad looked deep into Ichigo's eyes. He didn't like it when Ichigo said he could take care of something on his own. It was always his job to have his back so when he said that he could take care of it himself that can mean two things, it wasn't a big deal or it was too dangerous for them to get involved. It clearly was a big deal; it was an ex-Espada at their school. If he was saying it was too dangerous then that absolutely meant that they needed to get involved. If he couldn't handle it himself despite him saying that he could and trying to act cool then he was struggling and is trying to push the others away. There was no point in trying to keep them safe since no matter what they were going to involve themselves. They didn't want him to get hurt again for something as pointless as refusing to ask for help.

The others picked up on Ichigo's vibe too. They've known and fought with him long enough to know how he thinks. Uryu gritted his teeth. "That's bullshit; we aren't going to let you go into battle by yourself anymore."

Ichigo sighed, realizing the determination of his friends and that they weren't exactly planning on giving up so easily. "Fine, I don't know too much either since he keeps hiding stuff from me too, but I'll tell you." He sighed. He took a moment to try and figure out how to say everything before he started to talk. "He wants to take me to Hueco Mundo. Apparently I'm in danger, but he won't tell me why. I don't trust him, but he seemed to have gotten Urahara behind him."

He didn't want to tell them about _that_. It was embarrassing enough and he seriously didn't want to say it out loud. That wasn't important the only thing that was important was that he was being harassed because of some tall tale that Grimmjow was making up.

There was silence as his friends were silently considering the information that was given to them. "I'm stumped. I trust Urahara's judgment, but this is a bit too much to chew." Uryu said first. He sighed and held his temples, shaking his head. "He is asking a lot to just say go along with this no questions asked."

"Are you sure you aren't telling us everything?" Orihime asked lightly. She was clearly upset noticing that he was still hiding stuff from them and Ichigo couldn't refuse the look she was giving him.

"He said that he…um…no, it's not important." Ichigo said, trying not to stutter before quickly changing his mind.

"Tell us." Uryu insisted.

"For fuck's sake, I like him. Can you guys be any nosier?"

Ichigo's face turned pale and he chewed the inside of his cheeks as he realized who was talking behind his friends. There was no way they weren't going to react to that.

The three others quickly spun around to face the one that was intruding on their conversation. Bodies stiff, ready to take any attacks that are handed to them.

"What's that look for? You were speaking so loud, did you actually think that I wouldn't be able to hear you?"

"Wait, you like Ichigo?" Orihime asked getting over the initial shock first to start questioning Grimmjow who was in front of her. For some reason she wasn't scared of him. He seemed less intimidating then he did two years ago. Maybe it was because he didn't look the same when he was disguised in a gigai, maybe it was because she was already used to his presence, or maybe it was because she was more curious about what he had to say.

"Duh, why else would I want to protect him?" Grimmjow said rolling his eyes.

"Maybe it's because there is nothing to protect me from? I can take care of myself even if there was. Why would you even think that I would try and hear you out after everything you did to us?"

Grimmjow looked a little guilty before Orihime decided to speak up. "Wait a second, Kurosaki-kun." Everyone's attention turned to her. "Is the reason why you aren't hearing him out because you are holding a grudge against him for what he did to us two years ago?"

Ichigo flinched. That was basically it, but he hearing it out loud he realized that two years is long time to hold a grudge. He shouldn't be wrong though, what he did was unforgivable, wasn't it? It was a little unsettling to hear that from Orihime though since she was the one that went through the most, being kidnapped and forced to work for the enemy.

"What do you want me to say? I may have been the one fighting him and if it just ended there then it may have been easier for me to listen to him, but it doesn't. He hurt Rukia pretty badly and he said and did some awful things to you. I can't forgive him for that." Ichigo admitted.

Orihime blushed and held her hands out in front of her. "I don't want you to hate him because of me. I can look past everything that he did to me. Yes, he was disrespectful, rude, and he did hurt me multiple times. He isn't all that bad though he even helped me when I was being beaten up by two other Arrancars."

Grimmjow clicked his tongue. "There is no need to bring that up. That was just repayment for fixing my arm."

"If you aren't going to trust in him, then you should at least listen to Urahara." Uryu added. He couldn't forgive him either, but if Urahara thought that it was best to go to Hueco Mundo then something must really be coming and it seemed that Ichigo shouldn't be there for when it did.

Ichigo was oblivious, but Uryu knew that Orihime had a crush on Ichigo. He wasn't completely blind; he saw those hickeys on his neck and knew that she most likely saw them too; they stood out. She was being incredibly strong saying that she should listen to Grimmjow despite him apparently liking the guy she had a crush on.

Telling him to forgive Grimmjow was for the best so he could move on as a person, but allowing Grimmjow to get closer to him invited competition. They were Ichigo's friends so they knew that he was bisexual. Even with the off chances that he would accept Grimmjow she was still letting the competition get closer to him and protect him. Even if it were for the best it must have hurt for her to say that. After all, she was human.

Ichigo sighed. "Urahara did say that he would be a strong ally, but I'm not sure if I can see him as an ally after everything we've been through."

That was understandable and it was a step forward. He may as well be confessing that he was willing to give it a try. Grimmjow didn't exactly want their relationship to be considered 'allies,' but it was a good start. He was hoping that they would get a bit further ahead than that because their time was running out, but he can take what he can get. From here he may have an easier time convincing him.

"Why would you need a new ally?" Chad spoke for the first time since getting there.

"If you ask Urahara he may tell you. I'm only supposed to keep this a secret from Ichigo, but if you keep your mouths shut and you might learn something."

"This is so unfair." Ichigo said plainly before the bell rang. Shit, were they talking for that long? Looks like they needed to get going.

"I'll talk to you guys at lunch." Uryu said over his shoulder going to his class. The others followed their lead and went into their own classroom, getting to their seats before there usually late teacher arrived.

* * *

Saying that he'll try to get along with Grimmjow was completely different than doing it. They were far from allies. Whenever he looked at him all he could think about what happened that night before on his bed or that morning on their way to school. He can't get along with someone if he feels humiliated every time he looks at him. He couldn't decide what was worse; thinking about how he nearly died by his hands or the humiliation that he was exposed to also by his hands.

Oh god, he had to explain what was going on to his friends, and there was no way he was going to be able to get rid of that rumor that already started because of Kunieda. His reputation was jeopardy. Before he knows it Chizuru Honsho will be trying to befriend him and teach him how to embrace his homosexuality because the rumor will spread that he likes dick. He was bisexual and that was meant to be kept a secret, dammit. Heck, it was more secret then his double life, but it seemed like that was over.

He wasn't even part of her friend group. He had friends in that group, but it had nothing to do with him. She was friends with Kunieda so she may already know about the stunt that Grimmjow pulled. It was only a matter of time before the entire school knew about him.

Class was brief with no disruption from Grimmjow or other hollows. He was really curious about how Grimmjow knew how to act in school. Grimmjow was a monster who knew nothing but fighting, so how does he know about how to act in society or at least know how to pick up social norms?

He looked extremely bored during the lessons, probably because all the information that was being taught was completely useless to him. He was a hollow so he didn't need to learn the history or biology of humans all he needed to know was how to gut them and he has proved to already know how to do that.

Ichigo needed to learn all of this stuff for exams to get into a good university after that the information was practically useless, but Grimmjow doesn't need to worry about the future. Once all this chaos is over, whatever this chaos even is, he's probably just going to go back to Hueco Mundo. He'll probably try and drag Ichigo with him if what he was saying was true. That he liked him.

Ichigo got up as soon as the bell rang for lunch and left for the roof where he always eats with his friends. He was planning to talk to his Uryu, Orihime, and Chad about the matters concerning Grimmjow, but Orihime was with her own friend group while Chad was sitting with theirs. Uryu was nowhere to be found so that could only mean that he was doing stuff on his own.

He knew that Mizuiro and Keigo were going to invite Grimmjow because they were now all buddy-buddy with him and they were probably curious enough to try and learn more for themselves now. Ichigo never really talked about his life as a shinigami and having Grimmjow there was an opportunity to learn more. What more Grimmjow's little stunt that morning was not going to stop Keigo. Every little thing that happens to Ichigo always makes him more curious. Heck he's the kind of guy who will go towards something shiny to see what it is in a dark alley. Of course he was going to find a way to make Ichigo's school life a bit more inconvenient.

He didn't hear anything from Uryu who was probably doing some digging of his own, but Ichigo was mentally preparing for the worst. He wasn't planning to give himself to Grimmjow, and there was no scenario in his head that even came close to him actually accepting Grimmjow's feeling and do…whatever Arrancar do when they have romantic interests.

Urahara seemed to be getting ready for something so maybe it would be smart to get a new ally that was admittedly stronger than him. He couldn't stop his flinching whenever Grimmjow made a sudden movement, but he hoped that he would get over it over time…even if it had been two years already.

His predictions were completely correct. They sat in their circle on the roof despite Ichigo's desires Chad refused to take the spot next to him. So on his left was Keigo, but on his right was Grimmjow which did not help his anxiety. He wasn't used to Grimmjow being here yet and there was no way he was used to him being so close, dammit.

Ichigo knew that the reason behind Chad not sitting next to him was so that he and Grimmjow would be and he would also be able to keep an eye on him. Chad didn't know about his PTSD despite being one of his closest friends. He knew that Ichigo was damaged, but he didn't know just how bad it was and Ichigo wanted to keep it that way. He didn't need to make Chad think he was weak. He needed to stay his strong, reliable friend.

He failed to see the point of making them sit together considering he didn't exactly plan to talk to him in public. They should only collaborate when he is doing shinigami work. They didn't need to see each other in any other situation considering all the stuff that Grimmjow already did, them being seen together would only fuel the rumors.

Keigo was being an idiot like always and Grimmjow acted so normal that it seemed like he was always part of the group to an outsider. Keigo teased him and he got angry just like he was another Ichigo except he was angrier and more violent. It was like a new breath of air seeing someone besides him getting teased, but he was still on guard because he couldn't get used to the fact that it was Grimmjow. He felt silly for even considering that it felt normal and he constantly asked himself why he was even sitting with them.

Grimmjow might have seemed human, but he wasn't convincing Ichigo in the least. The logical part of his mind told him that he should give him a chance because Urahara was, but the stressed part of him that was formed from the war kept screaming not to trust him and not to let his guard down. He was a liar that was going to take him away and then kill him.

Grimmjow noticed that Ichigo was silent for a long time so he leaned in close to him and talked in a quiet voice so that only he could hear. "Hey, do you have anything you need to say to me or something? You're a little on edge so maybe you'd feel better if we talked about it."

Ichigo tensed when he felt the warm breath on his ear. He looked over at Grimmjow and he was rubbing the back of his head, realizing Ichigo's discomfort. "It can be in private so you don't need to worry about putting up a front."

That wasn't exactly Ichigo's main concern. He always put up a front, especially if it was in front of Grimmjow. He didn't want him to know that he was scared, but he already discovered that. He just didn't want to seem defenseless and he wanted to show him that he could still fight. If he proved that maybe he'll finally leave him alone.

He did need to talk to him though despite him not even knowing how he was going to say what he was planning to tell him. He didn't even know how to bring it up, but he had to get it out of the way. He might as well wear his intentions on his sleeves so he decided to just go for it.

"Fine," Ichigo breathed out getting up from where he was sitting and feeling his knees crack as he extended his legs.

They walked to the other side of the roof so no one could hear them. Though they were able to watch from where they sat. Ichigo hoped that that would stop him from pulling anymore stupid stunts, but considering how impulsive he was it wasn't guaranteed.

"So, what's up?" Grimmjow grinned. "Are you confessing?"

The other glared up at the hollow, tempted to just punch him in the gut where his hole should have been that wasn't evident on the gigai. This bastard wasn't going to take a hint. He knew he was teasing, but him just trying to force his way through the door would only result with it in his face. He needed to start with just his foot in the door like everyone else.

"Don't make me regret agreeing to talk to you." Ichigo hissed.

Grimmjow's eyes grew big; his smile still remained on his face. "Wait, are you? I was kidding, but if you are go right ahead."

"No, you idiot," It took everything in Ichigo's will to keep going. "I wanted to call it truce with you. My friend's forgave you despite everything you put them through, but I'm not sure I can forgive you just as easily. Urahara has something planned, but when he does I learned to just stay out of his way and play along. Part of that has me agreeing to be your ally. So we can have that as title, but do me a favor and leave it at that. I'm not going to mate with you or whatever you hollows do."

Grimmjow was amazed, he was disappointed that Ichigo was still refusing to go further than just that right off the bat, but it was something. He would be able to convince him further and maybe he would be able to convince him that he wasn't actually a threat to his wellbeing and was actually the opposite.

"Looks like I'm finally getting through to you." Grimmjow said with a light smile on his face. He tried his best to not look menacing, but he wasn't exactly good at that. He wasn't designed to look like a fucking teddy bear.

"You had no hand in this, idiot. My friends were the one who convinced me. Without them I wouldn't even be giving you the time of day." Ichigo said turning away, but he quickly tensed and his hands became sweaty when he felt a hand on his shoulder pulling him back to where Grimmjow was standing.

"You won't regret this Ichigo; I'll do my best to protect you." Grimmjow said in a low husky voice.

Ichigo's breath hitched and he struggled to find his next breath. _Shit, not again._ Ichigo cursed in his mind. "I got to go." Ichigo said breathlessly before running out the door that lead to the main floors of the school building, leaving Grimmjow alone again.

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Ichigo ran into the boys' bathroom and hid himself in the stall. His lungs were driving him crazy from holding in his hyperventilation. Having a panic attack in a bathroom stall wasn't exactly a prideful thing that Ichigo does, but it has happened before, multiple times. He put his head against the cool wall as his breath took in short breaths, struggling to bringing air into his lungs just to be let out again at the same pace.

He felt like he was going to die. He seriously thought that he was going to die. He knew from experience that he wasn't going to die from a panic attack, but damn he legitimately thought that he was going to die. Fuck anxiety, fuck PTSD, fuck Grimmjow. Why did he have to grab his shoulder? He totally triggered this.

Shit, he wasn't feeling any better. Ichigo checked his watch, it's been ten minutes, but it felt like an hour. He was getting dizzy and the air around him started to feel stuffy and unclean. That's what he got for hiding in a closed space in the freaking bathroom. Dammit, he needed space, but there was no way he was going to step out in the open. He didn't want to be seen by anyone. He pressed his hand against the stall. His chest ached and he was lightheaded, but he wasn't going to let himself fall over.

His mind was swimming and he flashed back to all the battles he faced in the war and his mind was lingering too damn long on the battles that he has had with Grimmjow. He tried to stay conscious of where he was though; maybe it would make the panic attack go away faster. It seemed to be working, his breath was slowing down to normal and his heart beat was starting to regulate.

He looked down at his watch again. It's been fifteen minutes. Usually his panic attacks usually last five to ten minutes, this one was especially long. It must have lasted longer because he was triggered. He left his lunch on the roof and class was going to start in two minutes. He didn't have a lot of time to back to the roof and get it and he didn't exactly want to see Grimmjow again. There was no escape though since he had class with him. He really hoped that his friends didn't go looking for him in that time to try and discuss what they were planning to do with Urahara or Grimmjow, but he already started to take actions into his own hands. He was curious if Uryu was able to dig anything up from them this time.

It seemed that he didn't need to wait for too long though. He heard the door to the bathroom open and Ichigo was immediately relieved that nobody came in while he was panicking. Unless someone did and he didn't notice, it was hard to be mindful of his surroundings when he couldn't even breathe properly.

"Ichigo? You in here?" He heard a male voice ask. It belonged to Uryu. He found out that Ichigo had panic attacks when he walked in on him one day. Whenever he sees Ichigo run off he usually assumes that it is either because there is a hollow or because he was having a panic attack. If he didn't feel a rise in spiritual pressure it meant the latter.

"Grimmjow said that you ran off so I assumed that you'd be in here. You aren't exactly great at hiding your spiritual pressure so it isn't hard to find you, but we don't exactly have a lot of time left to talk." He heard behind the stall door. The door closed in on him a little bit so he knew that Uryu was leaning against it.

"I learned a few details from Urahara and I'm not exactly allowed to tell you so he didn't tell me much. What he told me wasn't exactly what I would define as good. I'm not going to tell you anything, but you should be prepared for the worst."

The door moved forward and he heard Uryu leave. He was alone again. Ichigo slumped his shoulders and opened the stall door. He walked over to the sink so he could wash his face so that he can cool down and wash away any evidence of his panic attack. They really weren't planning on telling him anything. They were really planning on leaving him out to dry even though it might help his anxiety if they just gave in and told him. It was starting to piss him off and now he was starting to feel even more alone.

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 **A/N: Review and stuff. I can use the support and motivation to keep writing. So follow, favorite or review. I like feedback.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

Hey, once again I feel bad for such a late update and I haven't had time to write lately so it's a bad idea to post, but I've been mega depressed lately. I'm asking a legit special request to leave a review and tell me how the chapter is or that you like my story. It's been really hard to motivate myself to do anything lately so hearing from you guys would really make things easier for me right now.

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Chapter 6

The day was over before Ichigo knew it. Despite the obnoxious morning and his panic attack during lunch it was a very quiet day. Grimmjow was quiet throughout class and didn't bother him, probably sensing that Ichigo was anxious after his episode in the bathroom and figured he should stay out of the way. He didn't know how he learned about it, but he looked somewhat guilty.

There was one problem though, the quietness of the day. After losing his powers for two years Ichigo became very hyperaware when a hollow doesn't attack. Since Karakura is very high on spiritual energy it is a hotspot for hollows to attack. It is more common for Ichigo to have to kill five hollows on the same day than for no hollows to attack at all. Hollow attacks have even become more consistent then when he just started off.

This whole day he didn't feel the presence of any nor did his combat pass scream, so he knew that it wasn't because his friends or that afro guy didn't beat him to it. If there was one his combat pass would have went off and quieted down once it was killed or when he turned into a shinigami. It hasn't gone off since the day before while he was at school. Whatever, he could use a day off every now and then even if it did put him a bit on edge.

He looked at Grimmjow who was walking besides him on his way home. He looked really serious despite his usual, arrogant personality.

"What are you doing?" Ichigo asked.

"Walking you home," He responded.

"Why? I can take care of myself, and we aren't exactly friends." Ichigo said.

Grimmjow looked at him from the side of his eye. "Or dating," Ichigo quickly added making Grimmjow turn away, but a grin replaced his serious face as if Ichigo jumping to that explanation amused him.

"I just want to make sure you get home safe." Grimmjow said.

Ichigo noticed that since he met Grimmjow after two years that he's been acting pretty tense. He tries to hide it by acting cocky and teasing the hell out of him, but whenever he's with Ichigo he gets incredibly protective. First the hollow incident the day before, then in front of Ichigo's ex even though he still didn't know what she had to do with anything, and now he's even walking him home.

Ichigo was always the one to do the protecting so someone protecting him so outwardly was alien to him. He still didn't trust Grimmjow, but now he was starting to see him with a reliable air around him. He would never admit it out loud, but if he was able to look past the fact that Grimmjow hurt him and his friends in the past, the fact that he was a homicidal Arrancar, and that Grimmjow is, well, Grimmjow then he may have felt safe with him around, just maybe. There was no way that he could see through all of that though.

"What would attack me that I can't handle? Seriously, what are you and Urahara hiding from me?" He asked.

"This is just to be safe. I already made it clear that I can't tell you what is going on. I will eventually, but right now it isn't safe." Grimmjow said easily like he knew that he was going to ask that question and he has rehearsed how he was going to answer in his head a million times.

Ichigo was used to Urahara keeping secrets from him. Ichigo told himself before and now that Urahara was always scheming and he always kept what he was planning a secret from him. He hardly knew anything about him, but he knew he could trust him. It threw him for a loop when he found out that he was working with an old enemy but now he was somewhat used to the idea of having to wake up, go to school, and see Grimmjow. Though Grimmjow just kind of goes to his house in the morning now, doesn't he? So from the time he wakes up, he sees that arrogant toothy grin that he always shows off.

As frustrated as he was from all the secrets, he knew better than to question him, but he was curious about Grimmjow's involvement though. Usually the only people who knew about what Urahara was doing were Yoruichi or his own father, but Grimmjow was a total dark horse.

Ichigo didn't protest when he was rejected information again so there was silence between them, the only sound being the sound of their steps on the pavement. It was unbearable. He didn't know what to talk to Grimmjow about, yet he had so many questions that he didn't know how to ask. He had to give it a try though just to kill the awkwardness and maybe he could weasel some information out of him.

"I know I asked this before, but why me?" Ichigo asked. He wasn't sure why Grimmjow kept insisting that he liked him nor did he know why that was the first question that came to mind.

Grimmjow wasn't exactly asking him to be his lover just on a whim. It seemed that he had his own reasons and maybe he held onto those reasons for years. Ichigo still thought he was full of shit, but he might manage to convince him if he justified his reasons.

Grimmjow's brow furrowed. "Are we talking about my feelings towards you? I'm pretty sure I made those clear to you."

"Forcing yourself on me doesn't give me an explanation for why you feel that way to begin with." Ichigo said.

"Do I need a reason?" Grimmjow asked. Ichigo sensed a little frustration in his voice and it put Ichigo on edge. He was afraid of pissing Grimmjow off because he was worried he was going to take it out on him. He already knew what Grimmjow can do when he was angry and he didn't want to be on the receiving end.

"N-no, I was just curious. I didn't expect you to like me." Ichigo stuttered.

Grimmjow immediately calmed down, sensing Ichigo's unease and slowed his voice down as if he was concerned that he was going to scare Ichigo again. "You are able to provoke emotions in me that I have never felt before. I thought that it was just desire to kill you since it was such an intense emotion. I realized that when I saw you that it was the opposite, I didn't want to hurt you. I was seriously upset when you couldn't see me for two years and I noticed a kind of void inside me and I longed to see you."

Ichigo sighed. "This doesn't help me too much. I still don't know why Urahara is helping you so much."

"There are actual reasons that I am not allowed to tell you about, but have you ever considered that Urahara just wants you to be happy? Grimmjow asked.

There was silence. That was a question that they both knew wasn't convincing enough. Urahara was like an uncle to Ichigo and he wanted to believe that he wanted him to be happy, but sadly that wasn't the case. Urahara has manipulated and used him in the past, but usually it was because his and Ichigo's interests correlated. There was definitely a part of Urahara that wanted Ichigo to be happy, there had to be. Why else would he give him his powers back? Well, there were probably a lot of benefits, but that's not the point.

For all Ichigo could know Urahara was only planning to use him again. He had no idea how sending Grimmjow after him and allowing him to try to convince him to go to Hueco Mundo could benefit him or the Soul Society, but it wasn't something that he could write off just yet.

Urahara and the Soul Society had a weird relationship. He was practically exiled in the human world, but he was also running a not so secret black market. He supplied shinigami with Gigais that helped out a bunch of shinigami and he made these crazy inventions that helped Ichigo get to Soul Society and even Hueco Mundo and when he had a plan to get Ichigo's powers back individuals from Soul Society came running to lend him their power.

Right now Ichigo had no idea why Urahara was helping Grimmjow. At this point it felt like he was just playing cupid…Actually Ichigo wouldn't put it past him to do something like that. He had a tendency to be a freaking pervert sometimes. No, there was something more to this. That's why everyone is keeping everything so secret. What Urahara is planning and how was it going to protect Ichigo from an unknown enemy?

Ichigo groaned unintentionally. _Aren't I lucky?_ He thought to himself sarcastically. He felt like a shoujo manga character. He never read shoujo manga before, but he was pretty sure that how Grimmjow was acting would make any girl's heart flutter. Too bad he was a guy with PTSD and a history with him that wasn't exactly as friendly.

Isn't the temperamental character that has feelings for the main character popular, or something? Well that's what Grimmjow is. He's temperamental alright. Not to mention the fact that he walks him to and from school, visits him at his house, and he's a good kisser. As much as Ichigo wanted to forget the latter, it was true. Grimmjow was what every hormonal teenage girl wanted…too bad he decided to stick himself to him.

The walk home with Grimmjow was incredibly awkward. It didn't really feel like he was walking with a friend or even a lover if that was really what Grimmjow was aiming for. It felt more like he was being walked by an escort or a bodyguard. He doesn't know what Grimmjow was protecting him from no matter how many times he asked, but he seriously felt like he could protect himself, but despite that fact guard dog Grimmjow was on the job.

He didn't really think of it until now, but he hoped Rukia would get back soon. Sure she has a duty in the Soul Society, but usually they are pretty lenient with her going to the human world and teaming up with Ichigo. Heck at one point he was teamed up with six shinigami at once and they were all going to his school. In fact one of them was a captain. Ichigo liked to think that if shit was going to go down in the world of the living, it was going to be in Karakura Town. Urahara setting down there is proof enough. Aizen already had some business there and he had to protect it at the cost of his powers.

"Listen." Grimmjow said finally breaking the silence. "I don't want to hide things from you, but at the moment you're just going to have to sit tight."

Ichigo looked at him. He had no choice to accept it as is. "It's fine." Ichigo admitted. "Urahara usually doesn't tell me things. I usually find things out for myself." No matter how much he asked it seemed that Grimmjow wasn't going to budge.

"I'm sorry. I'll make things right, okay? Things are really rough at the moment, but I'll protect you." He said. "I promise."

Ichigo hated to admit it, but once again he was feeling a reliable air around Grimmjow. He almost felt reassured, but he didn't know from what. Maybe it was because he just promised to protect him and it was instinctual to feel safe when a guy promises you that.

It was a weird emotion because he couldn't understand it. He's seen him fight before and he is stronger than he'd like to admit. With the state Ichigo was in now Grimmjow would most likely be able to beat him. He has been sitting on his ass for two years, unable to train. Grimmjow on the other hand lived in Hueco Mundo where every day is about whether he will be able to last another day. Living there probably no longer posed him anymore threats since he was stronger than most hollows. It was fun being stronger than him while it lasted.

"Seriously, I don't know what you are even protecting me from." Ichigo said in a quiet voice as they approached Ichigo's house.

"Don't worry about it. All you need to know is that I've got your back." Grimmjow quickly gave him a peck on the cheek before turning away with a huge smirk on his face while Ichigo stared darkly at his back. This guy seriously needed to learn when to quit.

* * *

Ichigo immediately went to his room. He didn't have much of an appetite so there was no need to get food before working on his homework. Ichigo went upstairs to his room and put his bag on the chair in front of his desk. He opened it and grabbed his notebook so he can start working on the homework that was assigned to him for that day.

His life didn't fall under the definition of normal, but he completed his homework like a normal student. There were a fair number of people in his grade that knew about his secret part time job, but his grades didn't reflect that he was busy fighting monstrous spirits. He needed to look like a normal student. No matter how time consuming his homework was he had to bite the bullet and do it.

Ichigo looked around his room. He hasn't seen Kon in a while now that he thought about it. It's not like he was a pet or anything, more of a nuisance. It was common for him to go to Soul Society with Rukia…The reason why eluded him since he was sort of an illegal product that was supposed to be killed. Seriously, it made no sense. He was gone for the two years he was powerless and the silence was welcomed. There was a small part of him that missed him, but that's all it was, small.

He didn't need anyone to see his panic attacks or other episodes. His family was easy enough to hide them from, but Kon lived inside of his room where he could hear him wake up in a panic and watch him break down. He seriously needed to get some medication that helped him sleep through the night.

Ichigo relaxed onto his bed with his homework laid out in front of him. Usually he would work at his desk, but today he was kind of tired. It was on the quiet side today, but he did have to deal with Grimmjow forcing himself on him and a panic attack. Panic attacks always wiped him out.

He couldn't believe that Uryu was able to convince Urahara to let him in on his secret. It felt like everyone, but him knew about what was going on. What was the big secret and why was it so important to keep it hidden from him alone. Uryu was smart so he probably wasn't going to tell Orihime or Chad about it since Ichigo would probably be able to convince them to let him in on it.

Uryu was the hardest person out of his friends to accept Grimmjow. It made sense since he was the most logical person out of the group, but he was the only one that was given information. Orihime and Chad just sort of accepted him. The reason was lost to Ichigo; especially since she was the one hurt the most by him. Actually it was pretty amazing that Chad also accepted him.

Ichigo never really told his friends about his frequent panic attacks and episodes, but they sort have figured it out themselves. They know Ichigo better then to talk about it with him since he wasn't really one to talk about his problems, but even before going to high school Chad always had some sort of loyalty to him. He wouldn't have expected to welcome someone who was able to get those sorts of reactions out of Ichigo. His friends were smarter than that. Either that or he was the one who was missing something.

Whatever he was missing there was no way he would be able to fully accept someone who hurt his friends the way Grimmjow did. He may let him into his life just to see what he was actually planning, but he hasn't even been given a clue about what is going on. He was going to keep Grimmjow at an arm's length. They were allies in name only. After this entire… whatever it is that is going on is over he was going to get rid of Grimmjow as soon as possible. That is the plan at least.

* * *

Ulquiorra's fingers were crushing Ichigo's neck as he held him with his feet dangling in the air. He couldn't breathe. He could feel his weight putting more pressure on his neck. He could feel his fingers cutting into his skin and leaving bruises. He wasn't going to have to worry about covering them though because it looked like he wasn't going to last long enough to make it home.

The fourth Espada was about to finish him off when Ichigo was shaken awake in the middle of the night. Ichigo gasped as though he was held under water and just being let up for air. He was soaked in his own cold sweat and the covers to his bed were everywhere and bundled up uncomfortably. He was still struggling to take air into his lungs as though he was holding his breath for a long time.

"What's wrong, Ichigo? Are you okay?" The man standing above him asked. Ichigo expected his dad to be the one checking in on him. He usually would if he was too loud, but as soon as he heard the man's voice he knew that it wasn't his dad.

"Get away from me!" Ichigo yelled as he moved to the corner of his bed and tucked himself into the fetal position covering his head with his arms as he tried to protect the area that was struck by the fourth Espada in their last fight.

The man was quiet and sat on Ichigo's bed despite the boy's request and discomfort. He was still for a bit before he pulled Ichigo's shaking body that wasn't moving from the defensive position despite his efforts to pull him out of it. He cuddled him closer to him so that he was able to hold him. Once he was in his arms Ichigo slowly let himself out of his curled up state and spoke up again.

"Grimmjow? Is that you?" Ichigo asked quietly. "What are you doing here?"

Grimmjow was surprised that Ichigo didn't pull away when he hugged him. He looked so vulnerable before, but now he was in his arms and he looked as if he has calmed down a bit, if only a little. He was still shaking like a leaf and even his body felt cold. "I felt your reiatsu fluctuating. I was worried so I rushed over."

Ichigo nestled further in Grimmjow's chest and he reacted to this by hugging him tighter, amazed to see Ichigo acting so comfortably out of nowhere. "Did you have a nightmare?" Grimmjow mumbled into Ichigo's ear.

"It was nothing." Ichigo mumbled silently, still clinging on to Grimmjow's chest.

"If that were true, why are your eyes wet?" He said pulling away so that he could look into Ichigo's honey brown eyes. He held his face by his cheek so that Ichigo couldn't hide his face again.

Ichigo looked away and rubbed his eyes. "I just woke up and I'm tired. What do you want from me?"

Grimmjow sighed and pulled Ichigo back into his arms, Ichigo didn't protest. "Sorry, but the Ichigo I know and love wouldn't cling to me just because he was tired. It is a nice change though, I have to admit. Now what's up?"

Ichigo looked up at Grimmjow then looked down at the bed he was lying on trying not to meet his clear blue eyes.

"You're right. I had a nightmare." Ichigo breathed.

"See? Was that so hard to admit?" He joked.

"Don't make me regret telling you." Ichigo said trying to pull away from Grimmjow, but was immediately pulled back into his muscular chest.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm still not good at this entire emotions thing." He said apologetically. He actually even seemed sincere. "Can you tell me what it was about?"

Ichigo was silent. Grimmjow expected as much. Ichigo wasn't exactly comfortable with him. The reason why he was allowing him to be so close was probably because he was unconsciously happy that someone that wasn't there to kill him was comforting him. He heard from Urahara that the war fucked Ichigo up so he wasn't surprised to see him in this state. It was still new to him since he never really had to comfort anyone before nor has he seen anyone suffer like this before after a battle. In Hueco Mundo weakness meant death so even if hollows were able to suffer like Ichigo was then they wouldn't last much longer.

Grimmjow didn't really know what to do so he just brought Ichigo closer so that his body was against his and rubbed small circles on his shoulders. There was silence between them until Ichigo decided to speak up.

"It was about the war two years ago. I thought I would stop having these dreams since I got my powers back, but I guess not. The war still haunts me, the battles, the blood, the trauma."

"Was I in it?" Grimmjow asked quietly. He looked guilty as if he wished he could go back in time and change his options. All he desired back then was power and Aizen was the one that gave it to him. Now he wished that he actually followed through with leaving.

"No, not this time, it was a flashback to when Ulquiorra killed me." He said quietly.

Grimmjow wasn't able to see what happened during the fight between Ichigo and Ulquiorra. He heard rumors about what happened up there, but Grimmjow didn't want to believe that they were true.

"I haven't seen Ulquiorra in years, nobody has. If he isn't dead then he is keeping a low profile." Grimmjow reassured.

Ichigo's breathing became steady. He couldn't tell whether it was because of what Grimmjow was saying or because of Grimmjow's presence in the first place, but it was safe to assume that he was calm.

Grimmjow held him tight and lightly kissed Ichigo's forehead. He didn't pull away. It was the first time in ages since he was kissed on the forehead. His mother used to always kiss him there and Ichigo felt a strange comfort from the sensation that he hasn't felt since he was a kid.

He hasn't been held since his mother was alive, but Grimmjow did it twice in the past two days. His father doted on his two daughters, but believed in tough love for Ichigo. It was probably because he knew that he inherited so much spiritual power that if he didn't learn how to toughen up and fight then he wouldn't last. He never really minded. If his father were to treat him the same way he treated his sisters then it probably would have been really weird.

He lasted this long and now he has friends as well as family to protect, but who was there to protect him? His mother sacrificed herself to save him at a young age and he promised that if he had to he would do the same for his family. Sometimes he felt like he was all alone and no one understood the position he was in.

His friends know who he is and how he acts, but they don't have an idea about how he feels. He learned how to bottle up his emotions, but now he was being held in the arms of someone he once considered an enemy. The odd part was it felt kind of nice.

It was like everything he taught himself was being disproven. It's okay to share your feelings, your friends don't want to see you hurt, you are loved. How come Grimmjow, a hollow without a heart, is able to make him believe this? For the first time in ages, he felt like crying. Not out of sadness, but he just felt like he needed to do it, maybe just out of relief.

He mentally punched himself in the head. He cried when he lost all hope in gaining his powers back after years of turmoil. Rukia was the one that brought him to reality. Maybe she was right. Those two years softened him up. Maybe it's time to stop giving into fear and think the same way he thought two years ago. It was a lot easier said than done though. If it were that easy then he would have fixed his problems years ago.

He was conflicted. Maybe it was his job to stay strong and protect others, but does that mean he's not allowed to be sensitive and let others protect him sometimes? Here he was being held in Grimmjow's arms. His grasp made him feel safe and reassured. He could tell at that moment Grimmjow wasn't just trying to seem like a good potential love interest, he genuinely cared about him. Something that Ichigo was sure that he was faking.

Maybe they could be friends. He wasn't ready to start a romantic relationship with the guy, but it was a good start since he was starting to feel comfortable with him. The idea of giving him a chance in the romance department started to not sound like such a bad idea. Grimmjow would treat him right and from the look of things Ichigo couldn't deny that Grimmjow did actually care. Ichigo immediately scolded himself when he let his mind wander there. Logically, he was a hollow. They aren't supposed to feel love. The fact that Grimmjow was feeling it made no sense. Their hearts were removed and left them feeling nothing, but hunger. The giant hole in Grimmjow's gut was proof that he wasn't supposed to feel anything.

Then again Grimmjow is an Arrancar, a hollow with shinigami like powers. It gave him a more human appearance and it probably gave him more complicated emotions like love. Ichigo couldn't deny that he also part hollow yet he was still able to love. Maybe the same logic also applied to Grimmjow.

"Hey Ichigo?" Grimmjow whispered to Ichigo who was nestled into his chest.

"Hmmm?" Ichigo looked at him with tired eyes. It seemed that he has finally calmed down and started to lose himself to sleep.

"We don't have school tomorrow, so is it all right if I stay over?"

Ichigo thought about it for a sec. His dad tends to leave him alone on the weekends so it should be fine, right? All he has to think about is if it would be weird or make him look any weaker than he looks right now. Would it be so bad? Grimmjow has already seen him act emotional so it couldn't really get much worse. Grimmjow's intentions seem pure this time around. Like he only desired to see Ichigo safe rather than wanting to do something dirty with him.

Apparently the fluctuating reiatsu that Ichigo was experiencing could be dangerous so it would be smart to have someone watch over him, right? Ichigo told himself that, but in reality he was just looking for excuses. He didn't want to be left alone again and somehow Grimmjow's presence turned a 180 and found a way to make him feel safe rather than making him feel like he was in danger. It was probably because he could tell that Grimmjow was stronger than him and with him there he would be able to protect him.

Ichigo pulled away and sighed. He looked at Grimmjow with his usual angry expression. Once again, he was hiding his real emotions. He was back to being Ichigo. "As long as you don't do anything stupid you can stay."

Grimmjow looked at him and smirked and hugged Ichigo again with all of his weight. Pushing him down back on his pillow and turned him sideways so that they were both on the bed. He adjusted himself till he was comfortable then reached over and kissed Ichigo's head.

"You know when I said 'don't do anything stupid?' This is what I meant." Ichigo sighed.

Grimmjow laughed and hugged him tighter. Ichigo was all words. He would say whatever to make him sound cool, but he didn't seem to want Grimmjow to pull away. He already closed his eyes, trying to make an effort of going back to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Once again, I know that none of you really read what I have to say when the chapter ends, but do me a favor and leave a review because I've been pretty down lately. Just tell me that you actually enjoy my writing and that I'm not wasting what little free time I have to write. Please don't be shy because I may be shyer than you and I'm asking you this favor.**


	7. Chapter 7

*Noticed how long it has been since posted chapter, cringes, posts chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 7

He doesn't know how it happened, but Grimmjow's presence seemed to have chased all of the nightmares away. At first Ichigo had the hardest time falling asleep with the lack of space, the hot body against him, and the overwhelming embarrassment of being hugged by someone he considered an enemy, or at least he used to consider him an enemy.

They were friends now, but it was still weird in the deepest parts of his mind. He almost killed him multiple times. He nearly killed his friends and every experience with him during the war added into his nightmares all the time. It made no sense that in the arms of someone that seemed to walk out of those dreams he was able to sleep without much trouble.

He ended up sleeping in without realizing it. His father left him alone during the weekend, and thank god he did. If his father saw his only son in the arms of that hollow, who knew how he would react. His father wasn't over protective when it came to his job as a substitute shinigami, but he was pretty sure seeing an ex-Espada would trigger something.

Wait, if Urahara knows about him then is it safe to assume that his father knows too? Dammit, he probably does and he may even be helping him achieve that goal. He was used to being teased by the merchant, but he doesn't think that he can handle being teased by his father. His father has stayed quiet throughout the two years Grimmjow has been supposedly visiting and he's continued being quiet now.

He woke up at noon, with the hollow still holding him. He was wide awake and looking down at Ichigo like he was watching him for a while. I guess it is common for a couple to watch each other sleep, but they weren't a couple even if it was starting to feel like it somewhat now. It must have been because Ichigo could feel Grimmjow's heat resonating from his body and he still felt oddly safe in his arms.

Grimmjow flirts with him, comforted him when he was upset, slept in the same bed as him… and some other things that he doesn't want to think about. Even if he didn't want to think about those events he had hickeys on his neck that basically marked him as the other's property. Ichigo may not think of him and Grimmjow as a couple, but everyone else at his school is probably starting to figure it out. There was already a rumor circulating around the school and even without its help, Keigo isn't exactly good at keeping his mouth closed.

Ichigo looked at Grimmjow dazed. "You're still here?"

The other smiled at him. "Well, I said I would." Grimmjow rested his head on top of Ichigo's. "Plus it's kind of hard to leave you when I finally have you like this."

Ichigo was glad that Grimmjow couldn't see the blush that showed on his face unintentionally. He separated himself from his arms and turned away from him. "You're such a creep."

Ichigo sat up in his bed and looked at the new barrier that was in front of him. Ichigo was on the window side of the bed when he fell asleep with Grimmjow to his left. If he wanted to get up he would need to get past Grimmjow. "Can you move?"

Grimmjow smile turned into a smirk. "Can't we just stay in bed all day?" He said holding his arms open as if he were requesting for Ichigo to resume his position in his arms.

"Where the hell are you learning all of this bull from?" He stared at him dumbfounded. Now that he thought about it, Grimmjow seemed to know how to blend in with society…somewhat. There was no way Urahara was teaching him how to act human for two years. That's a little too weird.

He knew he supplied Grimmjow a Gigai and some fake documents that put him on the grid or at least gave the impression that he was always there, but he didn't teach him how to go to school, introduce himself to the class, and take a seat. He couldn't have done that, could he? There are so many rules of society. We may not realize it, but there are things that we have learned and are still learning from when we were a child. They aren't exactly stuff you can find in a textbook. We are socialized.

"What you don't like the idea of someone who's full of surprises?" Grimmjow joked.

Ichigo glared daggers at him. "Don't describe yourself like that. It's gross."

Ichigo just opted to jump over Grimmjow since it seemed he liked to tease Ichigo a bit too much for him to be comfortable.

Ichigo went downstairs to grab some lunch and remembered to take something up for Grimmjow as well while he camped in Ichigo's room. It reminded him about how he used to do that with Rukia and occasionally he still did since she still came over. She didn't want to bother Ichigo's family so she always just preferred to sleep in his closet rather than share a room with Yuzu and Karin.

Since Rukia has been busy lately it was pretty nice to have someone there that he didn't need to hide from. It was weird to admit to himself that he really didn't need to hide from Grimmjow. Heck thinks that he hid more secrets from Rukia then Grimmjow.

Now that Ichigo thought about it he and Rukia didn't really get along that well at first. She stepped into his life and completely messed it up, which he later learned that it was inevitable. His father was a shinigami and hollows were becoming more and more common. That life would have found him one way or another. Maybe he will have a similar relationship with Grimmjow. He didn't like him at first, but he will eventually become friends with him. Maybe it was inevitable as well. He still admittedly had problems coming to terms that Grimmjow wasn't there to hurt him. Part of his brain screamed that he was dangerous while the other part took comfort in him being around.

Ichigo worked on his homework that he didn't finish last night. Grimmjow, in his Gigai, lounged around in his room pretending to read the manga on the bookshelf, but in reality he kept on glancing up at Ichigo.

"Go home if you keep staring at me. I'm not going to play with you." Ichigo growled from his desk, not taking his eyes away from his homework.

Grimmjow blinked a few times, surprised that he was caught in the act before a smirk appeared on his face. "So if you weren't doing homework there would be a different story?"

"Shut up."

It was silent, but Ichigo was not progressing at all on the work laid out in front of him. He glanced at his quiet combat pass that was hanging from the bars at the end of his bed. Something was bugging him.

"What's up? Need a distraction?" Grimmjow asked expectantly, sitting up slightly by propping himself up on his elbows.

"Hey, where are all of the hollows?" Ichigo said making eye contact with the hollow across the room. "It's been too quiet today and yesterday." There was a moment of silence between the two, but the orange-haired shinigami wouldn't break the eye contact. He knew something was up and if Grimmjow wasn't behind it then he would realize too.

"Well that's pretty simple." Grimmjow started. "I feed on hollows so I am not only an enemy to shinigami, but to hollows as well. I'm strong so approaching me would mean death to them. They've been staying out because they are afraid that if they attack then they would be lunch."

That was a simple explanation and it was believable, but that couldn't have made sense since a hollow attacked while Grimmjow was there, two days ago while they were at school. "I don't believe you." Ichigo said plainly.

"Shit, nothing gets past you." Grimmjow sighed, scratching the back of his head not looking at Ichigo as he tried to hide the awkwardness.

"Well I kind of noticed that I haven't turned into a shinigami in a while. Only one hollow attacked while you were here even if it was a few days ago. Hollows tend to attack everyday here." Ichigo explained.

"Alright, this is going to be incredibly weird to explain." Grimmjow said, still pulling at his thick blue-hair. "How do I start? I guess I'll start by saying that I marked you as my territory"

"Wait what?" Ichigo asked dumbly. Was he missing something? "How?"

"I, uhhh, I just kinda poured my reiatsu into you. Like when I kissed you when the hollow attacked, and I poured in a bit more later that night when I did those things to you, and a bit more when I kissed you the next morning, and well, a bit more last night." Grimmjow could sense Ichigo's anger and embarrassment. He didn't want to upset him; he just wanted to protect him. He knew that Ichigo could take on hollows. A couple of years ago he was able to even beat him, but things were different now and he didn't want to see Ichigo hurt.

Ichigo was bitter. He rejected Grimmjow multiple times, but still he decided to take things into his own hands. He found comfort in being able to turn into a shinigami. Yes it was nice knowing that they weren't there, but it was too silent. It reminded him of when he wasn't able to see hollows and it put him on edge. It felt like they were still there, but he wasn't able to see or sense them therefore unable to protect himself.

"The color of those marks on your neck indicates how much reiatsu I poured in." Grimmjow commented, pointing to the hickeys that were left on Ichigo's neck and around his collar bone.

"Oh glad you didn't piss on me without me noticing." He said sarcastically. "How do I get your reiatsu out of me?"

"Depends how fast they fade." Grimmjow smirked. "Hope they take a while though. Those marks on you make you ten times sexier if that is even possible."

"For fuck's sake," Ichigo scowled. There was no way that it would go away if he only waited. Grimmjow would keep on forcing himself on him and make them last longer.

"While you have that no low level hollows will go anywhere near you because they are afraid that I'm going to step in." Grimmjow said somewhat proudly. He was starting to lose the guilt in his voice as he started to believe that he was actually doing the right thing.

"Shit, Grimmjow, you are way too overprotective. I don't think you understand that I am able to take care of myself." Ichigo said. He nearly shouted it, but he didn't want to notify his family that someone was in his room. He was pissed. He started to release his own reiatsu out like a garden hose that was about to burst. It escalated enough to be able to push any lower level hollows or shinigami to the floor.

"W-what are you doing?" Grimmjow stuttered and ran over to grab a hold of Ichigo. Ichigo didn't quit though.

"I'm flushing your reiatsu out." Ichigo growled, glaring at Grimmjow with intense brown eyes.

"Okay, okay, you figured out that you can do that, but don't." Grimmjow said frantically. He nearly shouted it, but he knew that if he were to lose his cool then Ichigo would only rebel more.

The combat pass started to scream, finally. A hollow finally came after two days of silence. The sound was actually welcomed. That was before Ichigo felt the immense amount of spiritual pressure.

Grimmjow held his forehead. Ichigo has never seen him look so stressed before and that put him on edge. Ichigo could feel the new spiritual pressure that came from the hollow that decided to drop by. Granted he was still kind of rusty, but he could tell that it was probably too much for him to handle alone. From the looks of it Grimmjow may need to step in again, but reading his expression he was uncomfortable.

Ichigo reached for his combat pass, but Grimmjow grabbed his arm. He had a hesitant look in his eye that added to the overall stressful expression on his face that furrowed his brows and caused his eyes to swim. "Ichigo, I need you to stay here." Grimmjow said slowly as he discarded his Gigai. He expected what Ichigo was going to say next.

"Fuck that noise. I'm going." Ichigo growled. He wasn't going to let fear rule him. This was his town and it was his job to protect it. He ripped his wrist out of Grimmjow's grasp and he pulled the combat pass loose from the bars that attached to his bed.

Before he could slam the combat pass into his chest Grimmjow was by his side gripping his arm again that was holding the wooden badge. Ichigo struggled to pry his vice grip off of him, but that only made Grimmjow's grip tighter and more painful. He wasn't planning on letting Ichigo go again.

"Stop rebelling. It's too much for you to handle so stay here. I don't want you to get hurt." Grimmjow argued with him holding Ichigo still so that he wouldn't end up hurting himself.

"I'm not rebelling, dammit. It's my job to protect my town. It doesn't matter if I'm scared or not someone can get hurt." Ichigo said struggling harder even when his arm was starting to burn and turn red.

"Yeah, and that someone can be you. Just be a good boy and stay here, please. I won't be able to forgive myself if something happens to you." Grimmjow growled.

He said 'please' and he said it sincerely. Despite that Ichigo took his job seriously. He considered following Grimmjow's orders only for a second, but Ichigo couldn't risk leaving it up to him. He may have been stronger, but he looked stressed so maybe Ichigo could play a backup role. He never had to do that before, but there was a first time for everything.

"Grimmjow, I know you think it's your job to protect me, but it isn't. It's my job to protect myself. Thank you for being there for me last night, but I think you are forgetting that I am a shinigami." Ichigo said as he planted his knee into Grimmjow's gut. It wasn't very effective since Grimmjow was now in his spirit form rather than wearing his Gigai. The gaping hole in his gut took most of the blow and Ichigo being in his human form only allowed him to use a fraction of his strength. It was strong by human standards, but to Grimmjow in Arrancar form it felt like what he expected a father felt when their toddler tries hitting him. He could probably hold him back with one hand.

It was enough to get Grimmjow to loosen his grip a little longer though, enough for him to twist out of his grip. Grimmjow wasn't fast enough to stop him from transforming into a shinigami and he was able to shunpo out of the window causing him to get a head start.

Grimmjow cursed and quickly followed him. He had to catch Ichigo before anything bad happened to him. This shit wasn't supposed to happen so soon. He was running out of time, but for now he didn't have time to worry about that. He had to focus on retrieving Ichigo before _he_ did.

Ichigo was ahead of him. He didn't have time to feel proud of himself for getting past Grimmjow. He was leaping from building to building, approaching the threat, but he was more concerned about Grimmjow catching him then the threat itself. There was no way that Grimmjow would try to stop him while he was that close to the threat. Grimmjow had better survival skills then that if he grabbed on to him then that would leave them vulnerable to a sneak attack. He didn't have the time to think about what could have happened if Grimmjow reached him first though.

Ichigo froze. His legs couldn't move for a second as his feet stayed planted on the reiatsu that was below his feet that gave him the appearance of standing in midair. There was a tall figure standing in the air where he expected to see a hollow. The figure was tall, but it wasn't exactly a ten foot tall monstrous hollow. He was around seven feet, which was taller than Grimmjow who was taller than Ichigo already.

Grimmjow caught up to him and looked at what he was staring at. Events were swimming in Ichigo's eyes. Ichigo was stuck and he looked like he was on the verge of having another episode as he was faced once again with another enemy from his past that nearly ended his life. Grimmjow needed to get him out of there and fast.

The opponent's gaze landed on him and a big toothy grin appeared on his face. A terrifying smile that looked unnatural with too many teeth. "Shit," Grimmjow cursed again and wrapped his strong arms around Ichigo's abdomen. Ichigo nearly cried out when he felt Grimmjow wrap himself around him, pulling him out of his flashbacks abruptly into the real world where he thought the physical contact was an attack. Grimmjow ignored him and carried him away faster than he has ever moved in his entire life.

When Ichigo's head cleared up a little he noticed that he was sitting on the top of a building with Grimmjow squatting next to him. He was at a safe distance; the threat was about a mile away so that Grimmjow could keep an eye on him even during battle. Luckily he didn't see the need to follow them despite him being there probably because he felt Ichigo's reiatsu pour out of him like a fountain. There was no way that Grimmjow would let him fight in the state he was in, scratch that, he probably wouldn't let him fight period.

"Stay here where I can see you. If things get ugly, get out of here." Grimmjow urged like he was lecturing a little kid.

"That was Nnoitra." Ichigo nearly whimpered. His voice was quiet as if he was afraid he was going to be heard despite him being a mile away. "He was ranked higher than you in Aizen's army and I couldn't beat him."

"If it makes you feel better you were pretty banged up after fighting with me." Grimmjow remembered. Of course he remembered the events that took place after his final fight with Ichigo. That bastard Nnoitra appeared out of nowhere and tried to kill him since apparently he would have been no more use to Aizen. Ichigo was the one that stepped in and saved him, him, a hollow. To this day it never made sense to him. It was insulting to him two years ago, but now he was glad Ichigo stepped in and protected him. They wouldn't be where they are now if Ichigo let Nnoitra cut him down.

"That doesn't mean anything. There is no way I can fight him and he was still ranked above you." Ichigo said, gripping the sleeves of his garb.

"Ichigo, let me let you in on a little secret. Those number rankings are fake." Grimmjow said. "It is common sense for a hollow to not pick a fight with someone stronger than him so right now I should be able to face him."

"This makes no sense." Ichigo whimpered, nearly letting tears fall out of his eyes. He held them in because he didn't want to appear as weak. It was unlike him. He didn't know why he was so shaken from seeing Nnoitra, but he could tell it was all because of his PTSD. Why did he have to be so useless?

"Aizen sealed our full potential with his hypnosis powers. He felt that I was a bit harder to manage so he sealed my powers the most out of any of the Espada. You've never seen me fight all out before."

Grimmjow wrapped his arms around Ichigo and Ichigo didn't know what coaxed him to do it, but he relaxed into his touch. Grimmjow planted a kiss on his head and pulled away. "Stay here except if things get too dangerous." Grimmjow reaffirmed before taking off towards the threat that waited patiently for his return.

Ichigo gripped at his head and shut his eyes tightly. He already started to hear the sounds of explosions and he also started to hear a voice in his head. Was he already starting to lose it? No, that voice, he recognized it before. It was his inner hollow.

 _"_ _Aye King, seems yu've gotta problem. I can get rid of it if ya let me play."_

Ichigo hasn't heard his voice in ages, but if he started to call out to Ichigo again it could only mean one thing. He wants to devour Ichigo. He wants control over his body. He is going to make life that much harder for him.

 _"_ _What happened to ya? Yu've lost yur way fer a while an I ain't exactly patient. Keep this up an I won't sit back anymore an watch ya cower in a corner. Pull yurself tagether an get yur ass in gear I won' hesitate ta take over if ya stay in this sorry state. I ain't gonna lend a coward like ya my powers so get stronger before wastin' anymore of my time."_

It seemed like Ichigo was running out of time. It looked like seeing Nnoitra started to push him off the edge. Why was he trying to kid himself? Just because he was getting more comfortable being around Grimmjow didn't mean that his PTSD was getting any better. If his inner hollow was starting to lose his patience then that could only mean that he was getting worse.

He has learned when he trained to perform the Saigo no Getsuga Tensho that Zangetsu didn't like how Ichigo made it his job to protect everyone when he should really focus on trying to protect himself rather than others. He always made his friends and family his first priority and he put himself in danger constantly on his behalf. Zangetsu hated it when Ichigo was scared and because of his PTSD he just felt anxious constantly. He couldn't sleep and it affected his everyday life. He worried his friends and family despite the brave face he always wore in front of them. They know better than to write it off as Ichigo was fine. He always smiled too much when he was hiding something that upset him.

If his inner hollow was calling out to him again then that could only mean that he thinks that it may be in Ichigo's best interest if they were to trade places for a while. One of the things he was able to make peace with before he lost his powers was gaining an understanding of his inner hollow. He didn't fully understand what he was or if he had a name like Zangetsu, but he seemed to be some kind of extension to Zangetsu since he was able to fuse with him.

He may not have acted like it and he was a complete asshole for that, but Ichigo genuinely thought that he cared about his wellbeing. That must have been wishful thinking though if he was trying to snatch control again. He was always hard to understand and he was always dangerous. Even though Ichigo wanted to believe that he acted in his best interests there was plenty of evidence that proved otherwise.

He tried to take control of his body multiple times, and when he first encountered Ulquiorra and Yammy he made his body freeze completely allowing him to get beaten up. Urahara had to be the one to save him and he was terribly wounded, but not wounded enough to keep him from going to school the next day. Then there was the time Ichigo finally got him to submit to him. It took the help of all the Visoreds and a bunch of them got hurt, but his inner hollow threatened that if he showed any weakness he'll come back to take control. It looked like now was the time. It was two years later and the war was over, but it looked like he never gave up even after he lost his powers.

What would even happen if he took control? With him in control he could probably take on all his battles and it would calm his nerves quite a bit, but at what cost? If he let him take over then he wouldn't be in control. He wouldn't be able to see his friends or family and if they were in danger his inner hollow would only prioritize himself. There was also the matter of Grimmjow. He couldn't imagine Grimmjow being satisfied if he were in control.

There was no way he was going to let himself sink into the deep end. Not anymore. He didn't need his inner hollows help. It rained in his inner world whenever he was upset and in distress. Zangetsu was probably tired of the rain so his inner hollow wanted to take control. This time it was just a warning, but if he kept this up then he seriously will lose himself.

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 **A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Follow, favorite, and review please. It goes a long way.**


	8. Chapter 8

I can't sleep. Looks like my fellow night owls get to benefit from my lack of sleep a little early.

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Chapter 8

"Why are you here, Nnoitra?" Grimmjow said. His teeth gritted as his sword scraped against Nnoitra's crescent moonish shaped scythe or whatever the hell you call a weapon that looks like that.

"I thought I was here for the same reason you were, to kill that shinigami, but it seems that you are here for reasons that contradict mine." Nnoitra said with a smile with too many teeth. "You haven't changed a bit. You're still weak. That's what you get for giving in to those kinds of desires."

He swiped his oversize weapon and Grimmjow gracefully jumped away. His hair whipped in every which way as his weapon created its own air current. He wanted to fire a Gran Rey Cero, but he didn't have enough space to go all out without destroying the town. He would end up killing a ton of innocent people and he honestly didn't give a shit as long as he can kill his opponent that stood before him. The problem was that Ichigo wouldn't like losing his precious home that he was hell bent on protecting and knowing him he would end up blaming himself since it seemed that Nnoitra came here to target him. He couldn't let Ichigo get thoughts like that. Ichigo should never have to blame himself for the shit that ends up happening to him. He didn't choose it.

There was only one way to kill Nnoitra while not destroying Karakura in the process. Ichigo wouldn't like it though, but he's going to have to deal with it for his and his beloved town's safety and for the safety of himself, not that Grimmjow would give him the option to sacrifice himself.

Grimmjow appeared in front of Nnoitra who was currently charging up his own cero on the tip of his tongue and swiped his sword diagonally. Nnoitra caught it in the curve of his weapon, but Grimmjow expected as much. He kicked at his feet, making him lose his balance for a second causing him to stagger. When his feet were kicked at his cero went off course nearly missing the building Ichigo was sitting on, causing Ichigo to dive away in an effort to be as far away from the blast as possible.

Grimmjow's eyes widened and he cursed. He glanced over his shoulder, looking for movement and let out a short sigh of relief when he saw that Ichigo was fine. Of course he was, he was Ichigo, the man boy who has beaten him two years ago. Even though he may be suffering some PTSD or whatever Urahara called it and he was a bit rusty didn't mean that he would be taken out so easily. Nnoitra's uncovered eye only deepened, seeping with more evil intent as he looked back and forth between the ex-Espada and the shinigami that he was trying to protect.

* * *

Ichigo looked at the corner of the building that was now falling apart after getting devastated by Nnoitra's cero. _Shit, shit, shit, this was seriously happening._ He felt so useless. All he was allowed to do was watch Grimmjow fight in his stead. He didn't like Grimmjow, but his intentions were clear. He seriously was trying to protect Ichigo as he just stayed out of the way even if Ichigo didn't fully understand his reason. Shit, wasn't it his job to protect his town? If this goes on then there won't even be a town to protect. He wanted to help, but his legs wouldn't move. His instinct was able to carry him before away from the blast, but when he thought about taking the initiative and joining the fight his knees just locked up. He constantly yelled in his head to move, to do something, anything.

 _Ya see what I mean? Yur useless. I'll do the rest fer ya. Just give yurself over ta me an' I'll protect yer precious town. Don' worry, it won' hurt._

His hollow was talking to him again and it was louder than ever. Black started to leak into his eyes and he could start to feel his hollow mask forming. He has lost his ability to form his mask after he has gained his powers back. He didn't know if it was because of his loss of his spiritual power or if it was because he let go of the leash that he kept on his inner hollow, but he didn't think it was so big of a loss until his inner hollow started to speak again. Using those powers meant that he was giving in to his hollow side, the side that he has always rejected and there was no way his inner hollow would let him use those powers without a fee and that fee was to give in to his forbidden power.

He gripped onto the mask that was forming over his eye and started to yank at it desperately as if he was clinging to the side of a cliff that was withering away. He yanked at it, but his mask was growing rapidly as Ichigo fought to keep his humanity.

 _Come on, King. If yur not gonna do anything than yur town will be destroyed and that Arrancar that is tryin' ta save ya is gonna be blown away with it. If ya let me handle it then ya won' feel a thing._

Nnoitra cocked his head when he saw the orange-haired shinigami trying to chip away at the mask forming on his face.

"Aye, it looks like your lover is a lost cause so I may well get rid of him for you." Nnoitra snickered. He Sonídoed past his opponent and Grimmjow's eyes dilated. His head whipped around quickly and his arm instinctively reached out to grab a hold of Nnoitra's oversized weapon. Nnoitra noticed his grip in a split second then dropped it, disregarding it; it got in the way of his goal. He didn't need a weapon to kill the weak shinigami and if getting rid of it kept the other from catching up so be it.

Grimmjow threw Nnoitra's weapon to the side and pursued him. Grimmjow was faster, being a master of Sonído and reached Ichigo first. Making Ichigo uncomfortable was next to the last thing Grimmjow would have wanted, but the actual last thing he wanted was for him to get hurt and he needed to pick the lesser of two evils this time.

He wished he had time to explain his intentions to Ichigo, to get him comfortable with the idea about the stunt he was about to pull, heck he wished he had more time for multiple reasons. It was just that he had Nnoitra on his heels. Grimmjow was always faster than him even when Aizen's hypnosis still took effect on him, but he wasn't so slow to not be able to read his intentions. He could feel Nnoitra's eye on him, shimmering in amusement as Grimmjow desperately reached Ichigo before he could.

Ichigo felt like he was losing the battle. His mask continued to form and no matter how hard he pulled the mask would not separate from his face. He continued to fight even when his feet left the ground and he was being pulled behind Grimmjow.

Ichigo took a second to recognize what was going on as he was being held by the blue-haired ex-Espada by his bicep. He was practically sailing behind him like a flag, held in an uncomfortable position as a bone mask appeared on his face while being squeezed under Grimmjow's arm.

"Wha-?" Ichigo started before getting cut off.

"Sorry Ichi, but it looks like time is up."

A Garganta opened up slowly right in front of Grimmjow and Ichigo's eyes widened. "Wait Grimmjow, don't!" Ichigo called out and Grimmjow felt a small pang of guilt as he ignored him and carried him through the dark abyss towards the very place Ichigo refused to go with Ichigo doing everything within his power to fight Grimmjow off and he probably would have been able to free himself too if it wasn't for his meddling inner hollow who was still fighting him for control.

Grimmjow quickly threw Ichigo upwards to catch him in a more comfortable position for the both of them. He looked down at Ichigo and noticed that his eyes were changing colors and that a white mask was forming around his left eye and progressing at an uncomfortable pace.

"Shit, we seriously are running out of time." Grimmjow cursed as they went through the darkness to reach Hueco Mundo. It didn't take long for Grimmjow's feet to hit sand. Ichigo's eyes were now completely black except for his now golden irises. The mask started to take shape and Ichigo's tugs became weaker. Ichigo's reiatsu fluctuated wildly as the hollow started to win the fight in Ichigo's mind and his mouth turned into a crooked smile that carried evil intent despite being away from danger if only for a second.

Grimmjow gritted his teeth and looked at his options. He could hope Ichigo figures out how to fight off the hollow while he takes him to a safer location, or he can leave him in Hueco Mundo and fight off Nnoitra before he even reaches where Ichigo is, or he can take actions now and not think about it too much.

Grimmjow grabbed a hold of Ichigo's face and forced his lips onto his, shoving his tongue through his devious smile. He felt Ichigo's hands try to push him off, knowing that the hollow noticed what he was trying to do. Grimmjow held on until he felt Ichigo's reiatsu stop fluctuating as he thrusted his own reiatsu inside of Ichigo's body to force his hollows reiatsu down and to regulate Ichigo's.

Grimmjow could feel Ichigo's body warm up in his hold, but surprisingly he didn't shove away as if he was trying to figure out where he was and what was going on. The only thing he could process was that Grimmjow's tongue was in his mouth.

Grimmjow reluctantly pulled away, knowing that now wasn't exactly the best time to be sucking face with the shinigami no matter how much he would have liked to, but his resolution wasn't so strong as to stop him from doing one more thing.

His mouth traveled down to Ichigo's neck and he sucked hard causing Ichigo's eyes to squeeze shut as he tried to keep himself from moaning. Now wasn't really the time to give Grimmjow what he wanted nor was it the time to broadcast his pleasure either. Grimmjow pulled away and looked at his handy work. The mark was semi dark which showed that he was able to put a fair amount of reiatsu into him.

"Sorry Ichi, I didn't want to drag you here yet either, but I can't protect you in Karakura anymore." Grimmjow said shifting Ichigo into a more comfortable bridal position.

"What the hell is going on?" Ichigo questioned, trying to shake himself out of his stupor so that he could properly understand what was going on and register panic as he notices that he is in the exact place he wanted to avoid going to. "Why did you take me to Hueco Mundo?"

Ichigo's nerves were demonstrated all over his face. He's only been to Hueco Mundo once and that was to save that woman, Orihime and he went intentionally. He never wanted to get dragged there against his will. He knew he was going to face danger and he was nearly killed multiple times. Just seeing the white sand that traveled for miles and the night sky probably brought back unwanted memories and it was only going to get worse since they needed to move fast before Nnoitra finds them.

Grimmjow tightened his grip on the struggling Ichigo and took off in a different direction. Ichigo had no idea where he was going, but Grimmjow looked focused on moving. Grimmjow stayed quiet, ignoring the questions Ichigo was asking and rejected Ichigo's attempts to escape. Ichigo huffed and just let Grimmjow carry him as he tried to distract himself from the thoughts that reminded him of the battles that took place a couple of years ago. It would have been nice if Grimmjow did a better job of distracting him, talked to him, explained what was going on, let him know that he was going to be safe.

By the time Ichigo opened his eyes that he didn't realize he closed while he focused on not panicking they were standing in front of Las Noches. Ichigo immediately started to squirm again and managed to break free from Grimmjow's hold, but before he managed to run away Grimmjow grabbed him by the collar and tugged him aggressively inside, nearly pulling him through the sand.

"I need you to wait here. Don't try and run off." Grimmjow growled. His patience was gone and he needed to get serious now that he was in the wastelands of Hueco Mundo. He still had something that he needed to take care of that Ichigo seemed to have forgotten about, but Grimmjow knew better. From the look in Ichigo's eyes he could tell that Ichigo's heart was taking too much stimulation and he needed to take a second to cool down.

"Isn't this place crawling with hollows?" Ichigo asked, unsure if being there was seriously the best idea. "Like, really strong hollows and Arrancars?"

Grimmjow held Ichigo by the hips and kissed his forehead. Ichigo was a bit too stunned to react and Grimmjow gave him a light smile. "Don't worry. No one here will kill you."

Before Ichigo could say anything he was left alone in the entrance of the palace that he barely escaped from with his life. He leaned against one of the walls next to one of the many entrances that lead deeper into the palace and slid down until he was sitting in the fetal position and hid himself in his arms as if no one was able to see him if he covered himself up.

If this was a busy street than no one would have noticed him, but it wasn't. He was alone in a large room that lead deeper into a place where things happened that he wished that he could forget, things that have haunted him for the last two years of his life. His face was pale and he was having trouble breathing and every howl that he heard outside (or inside, he couldn't tell) sent shivers down his spine, made his feet cold, and his body stiff. He was trying to take deep breaths just to get his heart rate to a normal speed or at least a speed where he didn't have to hear it, but his concentration was interrupted by a voice.

"Grimm? Is that you?" It sounded familiar and the voice didn't make his body reject his surroundings by making his hair stand on end. For some reason Ichigo was tempted to call out to it even though his instincts were screaming at him to hide and to get far away from there. Too late, how did he not recognize the approaching spiritual pressure before? It was big, strong, but not threatening and it was even less threatening when a curious head popped out of the doorway that Ichigo was sitting by.

Ichigo's breath got stuck in his throat then his eyebrow rose as he let it out in one syllable. "Nel?"

Her head whipped around to see who called her by that familiar name and her eyes changed from curious to excitement. She took two slow steps forward before throwing herself at him and tackling him head first. Ichigo's head hit the back of the wall and white dots danced in front of his eyes.

"ICHIGO~ it really is you." Nel cheered, nearly hopping up and down on the shinigami's lap. "I haven't seen you in so long. How have you been? When did you get here? Are you hungry?"

Ichigo held his hands up to shield himself. Nel's hard head was bobbing very close to Ichigo's face and he would rather not relive her headbutts. It wasn't the worst thing he has experienced from two years ago, but that didn't make it pleasant. "It's good to see you too. I've been better, not too long ago, and only a little." Ichigo answered in order.

Nel pulled Ichigo into a tight, suffocating hug that seemed to squeeze any air he had in his lungs. "How did you even get here? Was it Grimmy? He said that he needed to take care of some things." She suddenly gasped in realization. "Are you the things?"

Ichigo looked at her quizzically. She really hasn't changed much even though she looked like a full grown adult right now. She still acted like her childish self and from the bruises that were now forming under his clothes he could tell that she still didn't know her own strength and it looked like he would be on the receiving end of it for a bit longer.

"I guess so." Ichigo said hesitantly. It would make the most logical sense unless Grimmjow was doing something else under his nose. He would be surprised since Grimmjow never seemed to leave him alone, that was until he left him alone in a hollow filled wasteland in a palace where he and his friends nearly lost their lives completely unguarded. Yeah, Grimmjow was dead when he came back. He could protect himself, but he should know better than to leave him alone in a less than familiar place that held more than its fair share of bad memories.

"Well come on! We still have human food in the kitchen that probably didn't go bad." Nel said pulling Ichigo onto his feet a bit roughly causing him to stumble a bit.

Ichigo's eyes grew for a second. "Wait, shouldn't I be waiting here for Grimmjow? He told me to stay here."

Nel shrugged. "What's the harm?"

Ichigo hesitated. He didn't want to go further into Las Noches, at least where he sat lead to an exit to the desert that was filled with soul hungry hollows, but he didn't know what was left in Las Noches after the fall of Aizen two years ago. He knew that bad memories were inside even if he was going to go in with an old friend, but even with her he felt unsafe. He felt that the only way that he could feel safe was if Grimmjow was with him. He hated admitting that to himself, but he felt incredibly on edge without him.

He hasn't eaten breakfast, nor has he eaten before that, and he didn't even finish his lunch before that so he was hungry even if he didn't feel like he was. He was either in starvation mode or his stomach was still turning from when Nnoitra just tried to kill him. He would throw up if there was something in there. Nel looked at Ichigo, who was lost in thought with confusion. She reached for his hand and led him down the corridor.

Ichigo was quiet. He came to the conclusion that he should be safe with Nel and even though he was rusty he should be able to fight too. Grimmjow should be able to find him if he makes it out of that fight alive. God, he really hoped that Grimmjow would make it out alive. He realized the night before that he unknowingly gained a dependence on him that came out of nowhere. He doesn't know what Grimmjow was hiding from him, but he promised to protect him and right now he is doing what he can to fulfill that promise.

The best thing he can do is wait and if he can wait in a hopefully calmer setting then that would be even better. Would it be so selfish if he stepped away from where Grimmjow left him? If Grimmjow got angry at him then he'll probably blame it on Nel and Ichigo didn't want that, but there he was getting dragged along into the depths of the palace that he wished that he could forget. He thought that he would be panicking, but somehow he was able to keep his breath steady. Maybe it was because he had Nel there and he knew Nel was also an Espada. Maybe it was because Grimmjow left him there knowing it would be safe. Nel seemed to know Grimmjow personally, even had nicknames for him, and it didn't seem that they tore each other apart in the time that they were there so they must have formed some kind of alliance.

Nel bounced through the confusing passages as if she knew exactly where she was going. She looked comfortable as if she lived there and from that he assumed that Grimmjow must have been living with her. Maybe this place was actually safe after all even if his mind wouldn't settle down, but knowing that this was Hueco Mundo he knew better then to assume that any place was safe.

They seemed to have walked for hours, or at least if felt like they have since Ichigo didn't know where he was and he couldn't shake the memories from his head. The building looked completely different from what he has seen two years ago, but some areas looked exactly like areas he has seen before. He knew that it didn't make sense since he headed down a different entrance from the one he took when he came here to rescue Orihime, but some areas he has seen looked strikingly similar.

Nel opened a door that looked hidden in the wall and beckoned Ichigo to follow. Ichigo hesitantly stepped through the door that he would have missed if Nel hasn't opened it. Inside there was a huge pantry full of shelves that was lined up with nonperishable foods.

"Are these things edible?" Nel asked, picking up a can like she has never held one. She must have been here before since she knew where to find this place, but it seemed as if she never really questioned the cans and boxes that lined the shelves. "They smell good."

Ichigo knew that Aizen has been setting up Las Noches as a base way before he was even born and jerkface, traitor shinigami needed to eat too, but still the amount of human food that was stored was ridiculous. They don't have that stuff in Soul Society so he had to get this stuff from the human world, right? He couldn't imagine Aizen walking into a store with a Gigai and buying all these canned and boxed goods and bringing it back to Hueco Mundo to store in a pantry that was pretty far into the building.

"Geez, way to run off on me," He heard the door open again. "It didn't take me that long to put that bastard in his place."

Grimmjow came in and wrapped an arm around Ichigo's shoulder. Ichigo stilled only for a second before he relaxed and concluded that he wasn't mad.

"It took you an hour." Ichigo protested.

"It was more like 30 minutes. Is your sense of time screwed up now or something?"

Ichigo thought about it. It most likely was since he was in panic mode since he left. Having Nel there reassured him a bit, but he spent the majority of his time when Grimmjow left him waiting. He realized that when he has panic attacks they tend to last around fifteen minutes, but they feel way longer. The same must apply here and if that was the case then his stay in Hueco Mundo was going to be an endless nightmare.

Grimmjow scratched at his head. "Well I can't be mad at you. You haven't really eaten anything since yesterday, but I still don't want you going off with Nelliel without me."

Nel pouted and crossed her arms over her large chest. "I never tried to kill him. Ichigo is allowed to feel safe with me."

Grimmjow groaned and was about to tell her off, but Ichigo interrupted him when he remembered that he was trying to ask Grimmjow something on their way there that he never answered.

"Grimmjow, how did you push my inner hollow back?"

Grimmjow stopped his incoming argument with Nel and turned his attention back to Ichigo. "I guess I can't avoid explaining that. That's the reason why I was pushing my reiatsu into you. The hollows avoiding you were a result, but the main reason was to keep your inner hollow at bay."

Nel gasped as she looked over Ichigo once more and nodded in understanding. "Grimmy has been leaking his reiatsu into you? That's why you smell and feel like him." She explained to herself more than to Ichigo. "Good for you Ichigo. I hope you two are happy together."

Ichigo was about to tell her that he didn't know what she meant by she hopes they are 'happy together' and he hoped that her mind wasn't going in the wrong direction. He didn't really know what any of this meant and how Grimmjow knew that his inner hollow was going to try and take over, but his thoughts were interrupted by Grimmjow again.

"Sorry Ichi, I know you wanna go back to Karakura, but you're gonna have to stay here." Grimmjow said. He tried really hard to try and convince Ichigo to come to Hueco Mundo and he would have preferred that he doesn't force him, but now that he was already standing in Las Noches there was no way he was going to let him leave.

"Why can't I?" Ichigo protested knowing that Grimmjow's original goal was to get him here, but he still wasn't clear on the reason.

Grimmjow never wanted to tell Ichigo the reason, but since the events taking place were all happening so suddenly he didn't really have much of a choice, but to tell him. "Some of the ex-Espada members are after you and I can't fight them unless I have enough open space and I can monitor you and your inner hollow better here as well as keep your home from being desteoyed."

Ichigo looked at him with bug eyes. He was frustrated and angry and from the look on Nel's face she was ticked off too as she realized that Grimmjow pulled Ichigo here against his will and he did not consent to anything that has happened.

"I could have taken care of my inner hollow on my own," Ichigo growled, "and if you were so concerned about the ex-Espada members then you could have hunted them down here without dragging me closer to them."

Grimmjow shook his head. "I'm the king of Hueco Mundo. I'm not going to pick fights with them unless they follow up on their threats. Also you don't realize it now, but you are not enough to keep your inner hollow back anymore. Urahara said it himself."

Ichigo growled something under his breath about Urahara being a traitor and that he was fine taking care of himself before announcing one of his ideas. "I could have went to Soul Society and hid there for a bit. It would have been safer and the Visoreds could have helped me with my inner hollow problems again."

Grimmjow and Nel both groaned. It seemed with that response they came to an agreement rather than tearing at each other throats they seemed to have agreed on something which Ichigo never expected to see. This may have been his first time seeing them interact with one another, but what he got from watching them was that they weren't exactly the closest.

"Soul Society wouldn't help you, Ichigo." Nel said gently before Grimmjow cut in. "They would throw you here defenseless since it would be easier than having strong hollows attack them. They would rather sacrifice one person to solve a big problem then to make a big deal and send out captains to take them out and risk their lives."

"Yeah, but at least the Visoreds could have helped me." Ichigo argued.

Grimmjow shook his head. "Urahara thought about asking the Visoreds for their help, but this is above what they experienced. An Arrancar is the only one that could help you."

Ichigo wanted to argue more, but he was interrupted by the embarrassing sounds his stomach made that reminded him that he was hungry and that it didn't appreciate Ichigo ignoring it when he was surrounded by food. Ichigo sighed and gave in knowing that he had other things to attend to rather than fighting Grimmjow and Nel. He can figure out a way to escape later.

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 **A/N: My other story Strawberry Fangs is ending so if you don't know what to say for a review (if you decide to review at all) then tell me what you would want to see from me next. If not be sure to follow and favorite.**


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys, I was planning on posting this yesterday, but this site was acting weird. Anyone else had an odd experience?

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Chapter 9

Ichigo didn't expect Nel to be so angry at Grimmjow after he explained what he was doing there. He was able to take advantage of the nonperishable foods and the kitchen and whip up a quick meal. He may not have been as experienced in the kitchen as Yuzu, but he knew how to manage to make something edible that didn't taste completely terrible. While he ate Nel bombarded him with questions asking what he was doing while he was gone and why he never paid a visit. She then asked him what brought him here in the first place. Ichigo waited patiently as she blabbered on before explaining how Grimmjow brought him there while his town was being attacked and he didn't have a say in the matter. Nel didn't exactly take it very well.

Nel has been very protective of Ichigo after hearing everything that he has gone through since Grimmjow tore through his life again and never let him get too close to him. Whenever Grimmjow took a step in Ichigo's direction a harsh glare was returned to him as well as an intimidating fist forming from her right hand. She strongly believed that it should have been Ichigo's choice whether he went with Grimmjow or not even though Ichigo admittedly said that he understood Grimmjow's point of view even if he felt like he was able to handle himself.

Nel's argument was that Ichigo still wanted to return to Karakura, but Grimmjow wouldn't let him and Ichigo couldn't argue with that. Grimmjow ended up having to tell Nel that Nnoitra was still out there and it was too dangerous to leave Ichigo alone. During his fight with Nnoitra he was able to escape and Grimmjow has gotten better at reeling in his overwhelming desire to kill. He decided that if Nnoitra doesn't attack in the next few months than he should be let off the hook. The next time he tries to attack or try to take Grimmjow's spot as king than he is dead.

Ichigo was left feeling discouraged when both Arrancars refused to take Ichigo back with Nnoitra roaming around. It looked like he was getting wrapped into his substitute shinigami life again. He missed having a normal life and going to school, but after he got a taste for being a shinigami he couldn't go back. He kind of wished that he never learned that he had shinigami powers and could have just lived his life as a normal teenager (that could see ghosts.)

Nel picked up on Ichigo's discouraged attitude and tried to cheer him up by giving him the grand tour of Las Noches. It may have made him feel better if she has taken him home instead. She was angry with Grimmjow for dragging him here against his will yet she didn't seem to mind keeping him here against his will.

He may not have recognized most of the rooms since he didn't exactly have the chance to explore last year, but all he got from each room and hallway was that he did not belong there and that he shouldn't have even been there in the first place. At home he had family and friends who were probably wondering where he was and he was just stuck in a dead land, unable to do anything but sit and wait.

There were still some Arrancar living in the giant palace and they watched Ichigo cling to Nel, staring at him hungrily. Nel tried to reassure him that they only eat hollows and there was nothing to worry about, but Ichigo knew that it wasn't the full truth. Hollows seek spiritual pressure and he had plenty of it. He remembered two years ago a hollow had told him that shinigami were the souls that tasted the best before Ichigo slew him and he was dragged into hell. That idea never left him. Hollow's desired to devour anything with spiritual power and since he had such a great amount they desired him especially. Even when he was still human he was attacked and there has always been hollow activity where he lived. Then there was the mentality that he was part hollow. He never learned where that hollow part of him came from, but even now he could hear his inner hollow calling to him even now. If they were to find Ichigo alone then they would not hesitate and attack him. He would be devoured in a matter of seconds if Nel wasn't there. Ichigo would be able to fight back, but he didn't know what those Arrancar would do if he retaliated. Ichigo was strong and there was no way to deny that. He defeated Aizen…almost. He just wasn't sure how he would last against a hundred starved Arrancar.

Ichigo couldn't tell if it was getting late or not since Las Noches was painted so that it always looked like it was noon and outside in Hueco Mundo it always looked like the nighttime, but he was exhausted. He could last longer without rest in his shinigami form so his exhaustion was probably completely mental. When he asked what time it was Nel confirmed that it was getting late.

Nel took Ichigo to his room and it felt larger than the entire second floor of his house. Everything in the room was white, the furniture, the walls; the floor was made of white marble, and the door that led to the white bathroom was white and all the way in the back was a white king-size bed. What was up with Aizen and the color white? It was so flashy and it made him uncomfortable. It reminded him how far away from home he was and that he was spending his night in the very same place that a man who manipulated his entire life lived.

The room was bare and it reminded Ichigo that he was practically a prisoner. This room may have beaten Orihime's cell, but he was in a similar situation that she was in two years ago. He may have been taken here for his own good, but the only reason he was staying there was because he couldn't go back on his own. Grimmjow was clearly not planning on letting him return home anytime soon and he even seemed to convince Nel that he needed to stay for a bit longer until the Nnoitra threat was gone.

Ichigo was left on the edge of panic constantly and hearing his inner hollow call out to him wasn't making his nerves feel any better, but it was something to listen to and distract himself. The only other sound would be the echoes of hollows that came from outside his window and he honestly couldn't tell which would be better to listen to. He assumed the hollows outside were stronger than him even though it was unlikely. His mind had a way of blowing things up when he was scared and even though he was able to live a relatively normal life. With his PTSD though, being in a completely abnormal situation really made it a bigger deal than it ever was. At least with his inner hollow calling to him he knew what to expect.

He tried to tell himself that being here may be good for him. He tried to reassure himself that he may get better. When someone gets into a car accident they are just supposed to get behind the wheel even if they do suffer from PTSD. It may be scary and it may get the better of him, but if he learns how to deal with hollows then he may be able to cope better with it better even if he accepted that there was no way to get rid of it entirely.

Still Ichigo laid in his bed with Zangetsu's weighing the other side of the bed down next to him. He never cut himself on his own sword because it was a part of him hopefully that logic stayed with him while he tried to get some sleep, that is if his insomnia allowed him some. The room was dark enough to not let him see his hand in front of his face, but his eyes stayed open. He couldn't bring himself to close them. His inner hollows calls were too loud and even though he could tune him out after hearing his voice for who knew how long, there was no way he could tune out the sound of two hollows tearing each other apart outside, crying out loud and the sound of crunching bone. He was tempted to go out and take care of them, but he knew better than to go into the desert wasteland by himself or even walk around Las Noches by himself, but hearing those two hollows was a reminder of where he was and the kind of rules that took place. If you aren't strong, you are devoured. There was no forgiveness. Then there was the sound of his heartbeat. It was so strong that he could feel it pound against his ribcage and he could hear it in his eardrums. It was making it hard to bring oxygen into his lungs even though he knew that it was all in his head.

After an hour of lying there the door creaked open, allowing light to pour into the room. Ichigo immediately sat up with Zangetsu clutched in his grip. He relaxed slightly when he recognized the light outlining blue hair the figure standing at the doorway had that was highlighted by the white light from the hallway. "Dammit, Nelliel," Grimmjow cursed as he stalked up to the bed before sitting at the edge like he belonged there. "I told her that you should sleep in my room tonight." Ichigo never thought that seeing him would actually help calm him down, but seeing his face morphed in irritation actually helped put him at ease.

Grimmjow observed Ichigo's tense stance, his sword was gripped tightly in his hand with his knuckles white. He didn't look too put off and reached over to Ichigo's hand that was holding Zangetsu and held it lightly. Ichigo got the message and loosened his grip on the black blade. "I'm guessing you didn't get any sleep yet." He assumed. "It's kind of hard to sleep in Hueco Mundo, but I will protect you so you can rest easy."

Grimmjow wrapped his arms around Ichigo lightly. He collapsed onto the bed with Ichigo pressed against his chest. Ichigo only relaxed slightly from the warmth before he realized that there was now a body blocking him from Zangetsu. Ichigo tore himself away from Grimmjow to grab a hold of his sword and brought it to his other side. Grimmjow watched in fascination as Ichigo faced his back towards him so that he could watch one side of the bed, never letting go of Zangetsu. Ichigo felt safe around Grimmjow, but there was no way that he trusted him to protect him completely. The only thing he trusted in this world was himself and Zangetsu.

Ichigo felt the bed shift as Grimmjow made his way closer to him. He wrapped an arm around Ichigo and pulled him closer so that his back was against Grimmjow's chest. He didn't pull away. Having Grimmjow behind him made it feel like his back was protected. If anyone wanted to sneak up behind him then they would need to get past Grimmjow first and with Zangetsu in his hand he could take anyone out who tried to attack him upfront.

As Ichigo rehearsed scenarios in his head where hollow took advantage of Ichigo's position and attacked Grimmjow buried his face into the back of Ichigo's neck. Ichigo stilled as he felt Grimmjow's breath on his neck, causing his body to shiver and his heart to pound. All his thoughts were gone and his soul focus was the warm breath on his neck. Grimmjow noticed how his body was reacting to him and smiled, planting a small kiss on the nape of Ichigo's neck. Ichigo bit his lip and squeezed his eyes tight as every hair on his arm stood up.

He pressed his back further into Grimmjow's chest in an effort of getting rid of the chills that erupted all over his body. Grimmjow chuckled and tightened his grip on Ichigo as he breathed in his scent deeply. Ichigo felt his heartbeat go from erratic to steady. Grimmjow planted a kiss on the top of his head and felt his arms bring him closer. Ichigo's hand loosened a bit on Zangetsu, but never let go of the hilt. The warmth from Grimmjow's body wrapped around him and he felt his eye lids start to feel heavy. Even his inner hollow seemed to have quieted down and those two hollows that were fighting before seemed even further away. Before Ichigo could even register what was going on he was already dozing off.

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The bed raised as a weight was lifted off of the mattress. Ichigo shivered from the cold and leaned back to find that no one was there to supply warmth. He opened his eyes drowsily to see Grimmjow leaning above him close to his ear, his breath running through his hair. "I'm going to go hunting; you can stay asleep here if you want." He whispered before lightly kissing Ichigo's forehead. The idea didn't register with Ichigo even when he heard the door close as Grimmjow left. Ichigo curled into the spot that Grimmjow was originally, enjoying the warmth that was originally supplied by him and being wrapped in Grimmjow's scent that has grown more and more comforting. His eyes drooped back close before he registered that he was being felt alone again. He slept for a few more minutes with Grimmjow's words replaying in his head causing his eyes shoot open.

He sat up abruptly in bed and grabbed a hold of Zangetsu. He didn't have time to think about showering or brushing his teeth. How long was he asleep? Was Grimmjow gone already? He felt around for him, besides the reiatsu Grimmjow poured into him he couldn't feel Grimmjow anywhere nearby. He felt around for Nel too, but she seemed to be gone too. They really did leave him alone.

Ichigo expected to be nervous for being left alone to fend for himself. He could hide in this room where hopefully no other hollows or Arrancar come to hunt him down. He had Grimmjow's reiatsu all over him so the will most likely leave him alone. No, he couldn't stay there. He needed to take the opportunity to escape and he suddenly felt a rush of motivation that carried him out.

He felt bad for deciding to leave so abruptly. He knew Grimmjow's point of view and even though he didn't want to admit it he knew that Grimmjow just wanted to protect him. He didn't want to be there. He never asked for this. If he was there Karakura was left unguarded.

He couldn't get back by himself. He needed the help of a hollow. They didn't need to help him intentionally. He just needed to use one to get home. He searched all over Las Noches for an exit, but the entire palace was a maze. Nel's tour didn't help at all. It took hours to find the exit, bumping into a dozen Arrancar along the way. Nel was right about one thing, they left him alone despite following him with their eyes. He knew better than to engage them and demand their help. There were many of them and only one of him.

Looking out into the desert he noticed just how barren and empty it was. He knew that it was empty and it spanned for miles upon miles, it was probably just as large as the world of the living. He may have not seen anything, but he needed to start somewhere. He headed off, looking for a single hollow that was unfortunate enough to run into him. He prayed that Grimmjow and Nel were too preoccupied to realize that he has left and was now in the barren wasteland with them.

He has been looking around for hours and lost track of how many steps he has taken. He walked so far that he could no longer see Las Noches. He thanked his shinigami body that seemed to have limitless stamina sometimes. Whenever he felt nervous from not knowing where he was he just searched for Grimmjow's reiatsu to see that he was still in range. He wasn't planning on returning, but having Grimmjow there at least somewhat reassured him. If Grimmjow found that he was in danger he would probably rush to him. At least he hoped so. He has been gone for so long and Grimmjow hasn't seemed to notice yet or at least he hasn't ran over to retrieve him yet.

He didn't need to worry for much longer. When Ichigo was about to lose hope he saw in the distance a small hollow scurrying around on the ground. The hollow was the size of a Chihuahua and it looked like it was some kind of lizard. Its bone mask didn't have any extraordinary designs, but it was good enough for Ichigo. He pursued it and the small hollow realized the closing threat immediately. It started to run away, but it wasn't fast enough to gain any real distance between him and Ichigo. It only had one hope for escape. The small hollow opened up a Garganta and slipped inside. Ichigo charged towards the small opening. It was small, but it should have been enough for Ichigo to slip in.

The hollow was fast and it scurried inside. The black doorway closed as soon as the little creature entered with Ichigo diving towards it in an effort to get inside before the doorway disappeared, but it was no use. He slid across the sand with his hand reached out in front of him as an eighth of his body got buried by sand. He stood up and the sand ran off of him as he shook his clothing to get rid of any sand that has slid inside. He was so close. He wanted to yell out in frustration, but before he could voice his complaints to the dark night sky he heard his inner hollows laughter.

 _So dat's what ya wanted ta do? Ya were hopen that some hollow was gonna give ya an opportunity ta get back?_

Ichigo squeezed his eyes tight and bit his lip in frustration. He knew that his plans were a long shot and that one hollow was probably his only chance after hours of him searching. No wonder Grimmjow and Nel were gone for so long, finding hollows takes forever and they need to find strong ones to keep up their strength.

 _Ya know dat ya coulda just asked? Did ya really ferget dat I'm a hollow? I can open a Garganta and save ya da pointless searchin'._

Ichigo wanted to refuse. He was tired, pissed off, and his anxiety wasn't doing much for him at the moment. He knew what his inner hollow was capable of and he knew how to rein him in. Would it be so bad to give him a little control just this once before he slapped the shackles back on him again? How would he even be able to grant his inner hollow a bit of control with Grimmjow's reiatsu suppressing him?

As if he could hear the thoughts in his head his inner hollow responded. For all Ichigo knew his inner hollow could actually hear everything he was thinking.

 _Ya really think Grimmy is da only one holdin' me back? Yer fergeting dat you've been doin' it before he stepped into da picture. Give me some slack yerself. Trust me dis time, I'm yer only hope._

Ichigo didn't know what allowed him to think that he could trust him this time. Maybe it was because he trusted himself to be able to get him under control again since he's fought with his inner hollow so many times by now. Maybe it was because his inner hollow was there when he talked to Tensa Zangetsu and showed his true feelings. He even helped train him for the Saigo no Getsuga Tensho. Maybe it was because he was right; he was Ichigo's only hope.

He let his guard down a bit to the point that he felt like he could no longer control his body anymore. He hated the feeling of losing control. His thoughts were muddled as he felt a bone mask start to form on his face. Immediately he felt a spike in Grimmjow's reiatsu that he felt in the distance. The source of the power started to close in as Ichigo only assumed that Grimmjow felt his hollow's reiatsu take over.

 _Oops, looks like I gotta act fast before Grimmy gets 'ere._

Ichigo felt his body move by itself as his arm lifted and created a tear in the sky. He knew that he had hollow powers, but he had no idea that his inner hollow was capable of doing something like that. As soon as it opened his hollow possessed body jumped through and sprinted through the dark pathway. He felt faster than he should have been moving on his own, stronger.

They were now standing in the sky of the world of the living. The mask disappeared before Ichigo could force himself to pull it off. It looked like his inner hollow was true to his word and didn't exactly feel like fighting with him then. Ichigo breathed in the fresh air that surrounded him. The air in the world of the living felt so much warmer and comforting then the air in Hueco Mundo. It felt like the world around him was giving him a hug as the warmth worked its way through every stitch in Ichigo's shinigami garb.

Ichigo looked around and was relieved to find himself in Karakura. It looked like his inner hollow knew how to navigate too. Ichigo's main goal was to just get out of Hueco Mundo and into the living world no matter where he ended up. He could have dealt with the details later. He searched the town from the roof tops to find his house. It was still pretty early morning so he wasn't sure if his family was active. He was hoping that they've taken care of his body for the day he was gone. He could slip back in before they even woke up.

He slipped through the window of Kurosaki clinic. His father must have left that window open intentionally just in case Ichigo decided to climb through it again. It was pretty suspicious for him to leave his body unattended for more than a day without entrusting it to Urahara or handing it over to Kon even if he did hate letting that pervert have any control over his body to do who knows what. His body was tucked into his bed to give in the appearance that he was asleep. His father usually did that when he left his body sprawled carelessly on the floor or half on the bed. He must have been expecting him to return. He decided to thank him later.

Ichigo sank back into his body and almost immediately after he felt Grimmjow's presence nearby. It looked like Grimmjow followed him out of Hueco Mundo or he was worried that maybe he did end up losing control; either that or he was planning to take him back. He could try to take him back, but there was no way he was going down without a fight. If Nnoitra went after him again then he could take him out himself. He knew what to expect and he was tired of being viewed as weak. Grimmjow could leave him alone for all he cared. He understood why Grimmjow took him to Las Noches, but that didn't mean he was okay with his decision. He felt safer in the comfort of his own home.

It didn't take long for Grimmjow to find his way to Ichigo's house as he stood outside of the second story window waiting for Ichigo to allow him access. Ichigo sat in his bed and made eye contact with Grimmjow as he reached over and locked the window. Grimmjow glared at Ichigo in irritation as he knocked on the window insistently. Ichigo looked at him for a little longer before responding by lying down on his bed with his back facing towards him.

Grimmjow stood there a little longer in silence before he sighed then left as he realized there was no way he was going to get Ichigo to move and didn't have the heart to push him. Ichigo didn't feel his reiatsu anymore so that could only mean that he went back to Hueco Mundo. He felt a little lonely with him gone admittedly. He couldn't get over the fact that he for some reason felt safer with Grimmjow there. He felt better being at home, in his own room, but being home didn't help with his insomnia like Grimmjow did. Grimmjow was better than any sleeping pill he has ever taken. It was still too early to start his day so it looked like he was going to have to lay awake in his bed a little longer before there can be any movement in his house.

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 **A/N: Please review. I've been getting really tired of this story. I'm losing motivation for it and I am not hearing any feedback so it's getting harder for me to work. I'm going to finish the story, but I may end up condensing it so I can move on to my next story especially since it is a lot more fun to write then this one. Just review to keep me from doing that.**


	10. Chapter 10

I told you all that I plan on finishing the story. Nothing has changed even if I don't post every week like I did with Strawberry Fangs. Actually I'm going to clear some stuff up with you so you get a better understanding of what's going on. I had different mental states when writing my stories.

Strawberry Fangs: I lost a bet, but I am going to own it and make something that I can laugh at.

Resentment: I'm frustrated with Bleach, lets make somethings more realistic as well as cater to what others want.

Dirty Little Secret:...I actually like this one and have no problems with it yet. I'm way more positive in that one.

I talk to much. I'm sorry few people that actually listen to me. Enjoy the story even though I am not.

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Chapter 10

Ichigo was on edge all weekend even though no hollows showed up because of the remaining reiatsu that was clinging to him. He learned his lesson from the last time he tried to get rid of it even if he will refuse to like it. Grimmjow left him alone and he couldn't tell whether he was grateful that he granted him some space or upset for being left in the solitude of his mind. Having Grimmjow around helped get his mind off things. Their friendship evolved past Ichigo associating him with the killer that he met a couple of years ago without him even realizing it. Now Grimmjow was a guy that tried to keep him safe even though they weren't on the same page. Then there was the fact that Grimmjow was constantly trying to take advantage of him. He let Grimmjow get away with some things just in the interest of keeping him close by without him causing a problem. Sometimes those little gestures are enough to steer his mind away from having an episode, and sometimes he may actually find himself enjoying it even if he puts up a fight so he doesn't give him the wrong impression.

His fear of Grimmjow dragging him away was gone he already did that and it may not have been as bad as he thought even if he did run away. Even though Grimmjow gave him that freedom he knew that if the situation arises then he wouldn't hesitate to drag him back into the cold wastelands and if the time came for that to happen he would have to argue with him and make his own choice. He knew that he just wanted him to be safe, but some of the things just weren't good for him. He hated being in Las Noches, he hated Hueco Mundo, he hated feeling like he was left all alone and no one was going to find him. He was afraid of being found.

He was tossing and turning all night to a point where he wished Grimmjow actually was there just so he could help calm his nerves or at least justify them, but his only option was to down some sleeping pills. He may have slept past his alarm if his father didn't charge into his room to wake him up before his alarm even had a chance to try. He had to wrestle with his father to shove him out of his room so that he could get ready. He respected what his father was trying to do. He wanted to make Ichigo feel normal, like nothing has changed, that he didn't go missing the other day and that he needed to go to school like any normal student.

Nothing will ever feel normal again and evidence of that was waiting right outside of his window. Down below were Keigo and Mizuiro, earlier than normal, waiting for Ichigo to get ready and run out the door. That part was normal, but the blue haired Espada standing with them acting like he belonged there wasn't. Despite him being an oddity Keigo and Mizuiro certainly wasn't treating him like one. Ichigo took his time getting ready to prolong the purgatory that he was subjected to.

When he came out from the front door with his breakfast in hand he ignored the immediate jokes that came from Keigo and the flirtatious actions that came from Grimmjow. Despite the sleeping pills he was mentally exhausted even before the day started. He really wished that Grimmjow would just act normally like Mizuiro who just seemed to just be there and enjoying Ichigo's suffering silently. Even if he was just watching the show he wasn't making an effort to annoy him.

"Why are you so cold?" Keigo asked, poking at Ichigo's side just to be brushed off. Ichigo picked up his pace so that he could walk further ahead from his friends and the one who posed as one. The blue haired imposter didn't seem to like how Ichigo was giving him the silent treatment so he hurried to catch up with him. He tried to call out to Ichigo, but he just ignored him.

Ichigo didn't fully understand why he was so angry at Grimmjow, but he wasn't going to back down from him. He turned his head away from Grimmjow before he felt his arm jerked towards the Arrancar and he met his cold blue eyes that froze him to the bone. Ichigo felt a chill go down his spine as the warmth from Grimmjow's grip contradicted the look in his eyes and the way he felt.

"Stop ignoring me. What has gotten into you?" Grimmjow asked. He leaned forward so that Keigo and Mizuiro wouldn't hear him speak. "Is it your inner hollow?"

Ichigo shook his head, but he was actually considering it. His inner hollow has influenced his emotions in the past before, but usually when he did it was rawer and there was no substance behind it. He snapped easily and was more violent; right now he just wanted to be left alone. That was a normal state of mind for him.

"No." Ichigo responded before tearing his arm away from him and forced himself to take a step back so that he couldn't feel Grimmjow's breath against his lips.

Grimmjow persisted though, not letting Ichigo get away that easily. He looked at him with cool fire in his eyes. "Is it something I did?"

Ichigo ignored him. He knew why he was irritated, but he didn't feel like admitting it to Grimmjow. He knew that he was going to think it was stupid, heck he thought it was stupid. He knew it was unfair to treat Grimmjow like that when it was him that was irritated. It's not like he could read his mind or sympathize with the complicated feelings that he was feeling.

For once he wished that Keigo would say something stupid to get in between him and Grimmjow, but for once he remained silent as he hung back with Mizuiro and watched. Instead he was left complying when Grimmjow grabbed a hold of his arm and pulled him off to the side towards the park.

"We'll catch up with you two later; I just need to talk to Ichi for a sec." Grimmjow called after them when they stopped as well to question whether they were planning on cutting class. They just shrugged and continued walking, chatting casually like they have before they became friends with Ichigo. They weren't far from the school so they weren't worried about being late, they left early anyway so it gave time for the two of them to talk.

Ichigo recognized the park that they stood in. Often times Ichigo would go there and talk to ghosts before he was able to pass them on to the Soul Society. A lot of pluses there were children that died way too prematurely. Before he gained his powers he would leave toys there and wonder why he would find blood that no one else was able to see. He learned a lot since those times and he found himself often wishing that he was able to revisit those times and warn his past self what to expect in the future or at least enjoy his past self's naivety.

The future featured a smug, blue haired demon that was now leaning against a fence, waiting for Ichigo to tell him why he was treating him like he was the bad guy. He wished he could ask his future self for advice because he was lost of what to say. Grimmjow just stared at him with his arms crossed, watching him expectantly while he refused to make eye contact with him.

After a few minutes of silence Grimmjow sighed, leaning off the wall so that they could head to school, but before he could move Ichigo held him by his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

"Why did you leave me?" Ichigo asked, loosening his grip on Grimmjow's wrist so it just ghosted over his skin. He stared off to the ground next to him, not meeting Grimmjow's eyes that studied him, trying to make sense of what he just said. "Why can I not function normally unless you are here?" Ichigo asked mostly to himself.

Grimmjow stepped closer to him so that their chests were nearly touching. "Elaborate." Grimmjow demanded as he held the hand that Ichigo grabbed onto him with. That must have been the first time Ichigo has initiated physical contact with him that didn't involve tearing each other apart.

"Why can't I sleep at night unless you are there?" Ichigo asked. "Why can I not stand being in Hueco Mundo unless I'm with you?"

Ichigo bit his lips as he felt Grimmjow studying him. His body stiffened when Grimmjow touched his face as he tried to get Ichigo to finish his thoughts. "Why can't I get you out of my head?"

Ichigo felt a hand pressing behind him that pushed him into the owner's chest. When did Grimmjow's scent become so comforting? When did his touch sooth him so much? When has his voice made him feel so safe? Ichigo found himself nestling himself into Grimmjow's school uniform while Grimmjow rested his head on top of his. "Don't say stuff like that to me." Grimmjow said growling. "You have no idea how hard it is to control myself."

Grimmjow tightened his grip on Ichigo, wrapping his arms around his waist so that their bodies were flush together. "If you really wish for me to stay then I will not leave you alone."

Ichigo did not fight as Grimmjow held him and ignored the warmth that was originating from the opposites crotch, but his thoughts continued to swim through his head. Was it really okay for them to be like this? He didn't desire any romantic relations with Grimmjow, but he felt like a safety blanket. He didn't want him to leave, but he wanted to keep him at a safe distance. He's never been so confused.

Ichigo pulled away first he looked up to see Grimmjow's glazed over eyes link back into awareness. "We really should head to school. I need to ask my friends what their opinions are."

* * *

One would think that the courtyard would be emptier then it was since class was going to begin in about ten minutes. It felt like the entire school was there watching him and Grimmjow walk through the front doors, whispering about the assumed relationship. He wasn't dumb, he knew about the rumors that were spread and it was hard to turn a blind eye. He has been assumed to be a delinquent, his hair to be dyed, and relatives that just appeared one day and then disappeared the next having no explanation of where they came from or what happened, but there was never a rumor about him being gay. He has dated multiple girls in the school, but none of those relationships worked out very well. A rumor about him being asexual or aromantic probably would have spread if Grimmjow didn't show up and change everyone's expectations.

He already heard the whispers and spotted two quick glances as the two students walked to their classroom. He really hoped that his face wasn't bright red; he had a reputation to uphold of being stubborn and unapproachable. It wasn't the best reputation, but it was a reputation that he has built and wanted to keep. It kept people at a safe distance and he didn't need any more friends than he already had. Heck, way too many of them knew about his secret life. No one needs to see any more of it. He was fine with them thinking that the shinigami that went to the school to ask for his help were his relatives. He was fine with having to leave his class abruptly almost every day to chase after a hollow. He was absolutely fine with everyone being too scared to approach him. His friends knew the truth and that was all he needed.

Class was only a borderline living nightmare. Grimmjow kept quiet and he didn't seem to mind the quick glances that were directed his way. Ichigo knew what those glances meant even if Grimmjow didn't. Human culture may have been a bit too complicated to him, but Ichigo cringed every time someone's attention was directed at them. They were either thinking about the now very popular rumor or looking at the new class eye candy. Their teacher had to call for the class's attention multiple times and never fully had it. Even she was starting to steal glances at Ichigo and Grimmjow, wondering why all of her students found new interest in the two of them. Orihime and Chad would also follow the other's examples, but not with the same intent as his other classmates. They gave small smiles of reassurance and understanding, but it didn't exactly make Ichigo feel any better as he resisted the urge to hide his head in his arms.

Class couldn't have ended fast enough. Orihime and Chad had an unspoken understanding with Ichigo that they were going to meet after class. As soon as Ichigo left the room they pulled him over to the empty stairway outside of Uryu's class. Orihime looked at Ichigo with concern like she has seen something in him that he must have missed himself even with all of his self-analyzing. He didn't know how she was able to see right through him, but he didn't want her to worry about him so he brushed it off with a smile, a bit too obvious of a smile. Orihime offered a smile too, but her eyes said something else, that she didn't like Ichigo hiding from them.

It didn't take long for Uryu to meet up with them. He probably felt their collective reiatsu and went to them. Nothing gets past Uryu when it comes to spiritual stuff. If all of them were together he would know about it and know that he should be there too. Why else would they be gathering outside of his classroom? Without even stopping to greet Orihime or Chad he looked over at Ichigo and started to search him for any answers before Ichigo could even voice anything. His eyes demanded Ichigo to talk even though he wasn't sure how to start or what he wanted him to say. He wanted to get this little secret meeting over with as soon as possible so he started off first.

"What was that strong reiatsu the other day and where did you go after that?" Uryu demanded.

Right off the bat, nothing really does get past him. Chad and Orihime looked over at each other before turning back to Ichigo. Ichigo sighed as he reorganized his thought to try and answer his supposed friend's question.

"I know what the answer is, but you should at least let Sado and Inoue in on the secrets." Uryu hissed.

Ichigo lowered his gaze and his eyebrows knitted further together. He gritted his teeth and through those teeth he was able to force out a response. "I never said it was a secret, I was planning on telling them now, Ishida."

Orihime and Chad watched Ichigo expectantly as Ichigo relayed what his weekend looked like leaving out certain details. He may have told them about Nnoitra, but there was no way he was planning on telling them that Grimmjow spent the night at his house. He may have told them about how he was dragged to Hueco Mundo and spent the night at Las Noches, but he didn't tell them that he couldn't sleep until Grimmjow held him in his arms. He may have told them that he got back the next day, but he didn't tell them the method he used to get back. He could never live it down if they knew that kind of stuff and they definitely didn't need to know about his inner hollow coming back to haunt him. He didn't want them to worry. He knew they would fight him if they knew he was hiding stuff and he knew that he has made the mistake of keeping secrets in the past, but some things never change.

When Ichigo stopped talking Orihime clutched at her chest and looked at Ichigo with great sorrow in her eyes. "Why did you come back?" She asked. Ichigo cocked his head to the side. It felt kind of like an insult hearing it come from his friend's mouth, like she didn't want him to be back.

"Nnoitra clearly came here for you. You aren't safe here. You'd be safer in Hueco Mundo, hiding in Las Noches. It's lonely there, but at least it is safe." She cried out.

Chad had to hold her by the shoulder and give her his usual look to remind her that they were in public and some of the things they were discussing would be better to keep private.

"This isn't about me. I need to keep Karakura safe." Ichigo responded. It was the most normal thing Ichigo had in his life. It may have attracted hollows like flies to honey, but it was one thing that he was sure of. It was constant. Hollows show up every day and he would be the one to take care of them. It was his job. That's what Soul Society assigned to him.

"Your town would actually be safer if you stayed in Las Noches with me until this all blew over." Grimmjow made himself right at home in their conversation like he belonged there the entire time. "You guys talk too loud. I can hear you from my classroom nor are any of you hiding your reiatsu." He nonchalantly stretched his arms above his head before resting them behind him, leaning on the stairway banister.

Orihime nodded furiously to what Grimmjow said, disregarding the later statement. "Don't you trust us to take care of Karakura while you are gone? We've done it for two years when you've lost your powers."

Orihime rested her hands on Ichigo's shoulders which caused Grimmjow to visibly stiffen, but he didn't act on any violent intentions that may have swarmed his head. "Kurosaki-kun, your number one priority has always been us and our town, but you really should learn to take care of yourself." She said softly, not meeting Ichigo's eyes. "I have to admit that I don't fully trust him, but if his intentions are truly to keep you safe then you really should consider staying with him. We know you are strong, but we don't want you to get hurt anymore."

Ichigo looked from Orihime, to Chad, and then to Uryu. Each one of them didn't waver or try to defend him. How long has each of them thought that way? He knew that wherever he was the Arrancar would follow and having him away from civilization would benefit everyone, but he wasn't sure his friends understood his real intentions of staying in the world of the living. There he knew what to expect. Hueco Mundo sprung more surprises then anything he has experienced in his life. He couldn't expect to enjoy peaceful days their sipping tea while he waited out the ex-Espada threats. Then there was the matter with his inner hollow. He didn't know how to contain him anymore at least in Karakura he could ask Urahara for advice if he didn't know what to do even if he would probably end up not telling him anything and tell him to go with Grimmjow. Still he was left with no choice but to agree to go with him after school. It was a nice to enjoy the air in the world of the living at least for a little bit.

When they had to return to class every hour seemed to have went too fast as he knew that once the three chimes rang that meant that he would have to go home and ditch his body, leaving it with Kon so that he could wreak havoc. He made his friends promise that they wouldn't let Kon do anything destructive while he was gone as he kissed his precious reputation goodbye as he just hoped the year would end faster so that he could graduate and never see any of these people again or at least hope that Kon wouldn't get his body arrested.

* * *

The day ended with a silent walk home. Ichigo felt like he was walking to visit his own grave as Grimmjow walked incredibly close to him as if he were escorting him to make sure he didn't run away. Even if he did run away Grimmjow would be able to find him easily so there was no purpose to him following him besides to be a pain.

Ichigo snuck a glance at Grimmjow and sighed. "Can I say something?" Ichigo asked, breaking the silence. Grimmjow raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't protest to Ichigo request. "You know that stuff I said in the park earlier?" Ichigo asked. Grimmjow smiled as the memory came to mind which led to him walking a little closer to Ichigo before Ichigo took a step away from him.

"Can you do me a favor and leave me alone if I need it?" Ichigo asked. "If you feel uncomfortable leaving me alone then you can ask Nel to watch over me, but maybe it would be helpful if I am left alone every now and then."

He needed to get stronger. He couldn't rely on others to worry about him. He needed to get over his past trauma and get rid of his reliance even if it meant leaving him alone in a giant palace that he didn't know his way around that was filled with Arrancar that would love nothing more than to have a taste of him. Just earlier he wished that Grimmjow wouldn't leave him alone because he made him feel safe, but now he wanted independence.

He could no longer understand himself anymore and it was way past comprehension. He couldn't tell whether his request was the right decision or not, but it was worth a try. Even Grimmjow looked confused. If he was upset by what Ichigo suggested he didn't allow it to be visible on his face. He just silently nodded as he and Ichigo walked to his house to prepare for their stay in another world.

He let himself inside of his house. It was empty which only made him wonder where everyone was for a second before he decided that it would be easier for him to leave if his family was unaware that he was disappearing again. He made his way to his room to see Kon laying on his bed without a care in the world before he saw Grimmjow and scrambled away, noticing his intimidating spiritual pressure.

Grimmjow cocked his head at him, but disregarded him as Ichigo paid no mind to him. Ichigo searched his closet for an old backpack of some kind and filled it with comfortable clothing. He didn't know how long he was staying, but he wasn't planning to stay in his shinigami garb the entire time. He wanted to be comfortable if he was on a forced vacation if he could even call it that. He threw in a few books that he never had the chance to read. Hueco Mundo was a wasteland, not exactly sandy beaches full of activities or places to relax. He was there to sit and wait for all his problems to go away. Maybe some books would do something to keep him company during the silent endless nights. He just hoped that he brought enough.

He struck Kon and placed him inside of his body, instructing him that he was going to be gone for a while and that he better behave. He neglected to tell Kon about the rumors that started to spread about him and Grimmjow. He couldn't bring himself to talk about it out loud nor did he want to deal with his obnoxious teasing. He just hoped that Kon wouldn't do anything to make matters worse while he was left unattended. He gave permission to his friends to do whatever they saw fit to him if he stepped a toe out of line.

Ichigo scribbled a note and left it for his dad. His father didn't need a note, but now that he knew that his father was a shinigami it felt wrong to let him know what was going on. His father may have secretly known what was going on two years ago and he most likely knew about what was going on with him and Grimmjow, but it felt good to get some things off his chest just for the purpose of letting his dad know. His father will deny seeing the note later, but even if his father pretended not to see it his intentions were still there. He didn't know what to expect once he left or how long he would be gone. So he may as well leave some kind of note to prove that he made the effort.

* * *

 **A/N: It may be a bad idea to write a story that I don't like when I'm being bombarded with bad thoughts. Depression sucks, but I don't like talking about myself too much so I'm just going to ask you all to review, favorite, and follow to give me a reason to keep writing besides my stubborn pride.**


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